Girls Are Scared Of Obtrusive Guys
Dealing with men who are into pickup I met a lot of wonderful people. However, not everyone is cool and the worst are those who don’t understand “no”. Someone told them to be persistent but they’re obtrusive, nagging and importunate. What’s even worse – they can’t figure out why girls don’t like them.
She Doesn’t Owe You Anything
This goes back to my daygame mantras series where I introduced “She Doesn’t Owe You Anything” rule. To recap: she really doesn’t owe you anything at any single point of time. It doesn’t matter that she gave you her number. Kissing with you wasn’t a big deal. Those three dates? She doesn’t even remember your name.
Guys think there is some kind of balance sheet in relationships whereas girls live in the present. You’ve hurt her – she feels hurt and all the other things that you’ve done for her don’t matter. Similarly, if you’re making her feel good then she’ll want to see you again. Unless, of course, she changes her mind.
That means you cannot expect her to behave in certain way just because you did something in the past. Unless it affects her current state that thing is gone. Don’t hope for return of any favor because you’ll be disappointed. I’m not saying it won’t happen but it’s foolish to expect that.
That’s especially dangerous for “nice guys” who think that being friendly is creating debt. Debt which, in the nice guy’s mind, is payable only by sex or love. It’s bullshit. Once again – she doesn’t owe you anything for your friendship and you friendzoned yourself for nothing. And she will be pissed at you when you reveal your true intentions (you liar!).
Persistence is attractive. Persistence done right and for the right reasons is a key component to everyone’s game. After all “the game is played with the maybe girls” and with such you have to keep pushing at fast yet comfortable pace to avoid getting a hard no.
That doesn’t mean that you should keep going after you get a rejection or after what is most certainly a middle finger. If you have doubts ask yourself – is she going to meet me on a date this or next week? Is that scenario even plausible? If you can’t honestly say “yes” then you’ve probably already been rejected.
Some guys need hard rules. If she already declined two or three date invitations – it’s the end. If she hadn’t replied to your last three texts – it’s game over.
Trying to pick her up after she (in her mind) rejected you is not only counterproductive but it can also hurt your vibe and (rightfully) makes you feel like a weirdo when she finally shouts that you’re a creep. Unless of course you are have some social dysfunction and you’re not bothered by such events.
Girls Are Scared Of Those Guys
One of the reasons girls are scared of “nice guys” is because they don’t know where to stop. Women very often sugarcoat their rejections so that they themselves won’t feel bad. But “nice guys” cling to nonexistent hope as in the old joke: “It will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you”, “So you’re saying there is a chance?”
I’ve seen a lot of conversations where guy is obtrusive to the point where he is driving the girl mad. “Why aren’t you replying?”, endless “Hey! :)”s, calling her all the time, tens of messages in a row, demanding an answer and finally angry outburst of swear words and calling her names because she is sleeping with other jerks and “he was nice to her”.
It’s All About Handling Rejection
So a useful piece of advice that is going to make your daygame and your dating life easier: show her that you can handle rejections with ease. Joke about it, it shows that you’ve got options. It can be as easy as saying “I promise not to call you more than twenty times a day” with a cheeky grin when you’re taking her number. That is making her know that you’re cool and you know what’s socially unacceptable.
Whenever you’re talking to a married girl or one that has been recently engaged – make a big fat joke out of it. Of course, it’s very unlikely that she’s going to sleep with you if she’s engaged. You’re not doing it for the sake of the number but to internalize the vibe. It’s okay to fail, it’s not a big deal and you know that she really doesn’t owe you anything for your little chat.
I remember a gym instructor that I’ve chatted up for a long time and at one point I tried to get out on a date. It turned out that she’s married. I had a laugh about it and the next time I welcomed her with “Hi, are you still married?”. She laughed and confirmed to which I jokingly shouted “Damn it!” She knew I wasn’t to be one of “those guys”. I could frequent that gym with no issues.
Honestly, you shouldn’t really have to say anything to show girls that you’re not going to be a stalking creep. It should be obvious. But if at least once you’ve got an angry “Leave me alone!” message then you have some serious thinking to do. I was never such guy and I don’t know how can you miss all the subtle rejection signs. But apparently some guys can.