How To Flirt With Girls?
This is a long overdue post as the number of guys asking me how to flirt with girls is astonishing. I even got “Men can flirt?” a few times. So let’s start from the beginning.
How To Talk To Girls?
I’ve been way too technical for way too long time with my advice here on this blog. Countless times I said to use statements, not questions. Of course it is important. If you still don’t know why then read about reciprocity and think – would you be keen to answer a random stranger asking you personal questions?
I also realized that I might suggest becoming a robot that avoids questions at all costs and just speak with sentences. That’s not natural, that’s just weird. I’ve talked about the “only statements” mistake.
But because I was so focused on the technicalities I totally forgot to cover the point of the conversation, which is flirting. Without it you’re just some random guy talking to her, instead of picking her up. You have to start with flirting and get any reaction out of her. You’re a stranger after all. Why would she even want to talk to you?
No stranger, especially no hot girl, will want to talk to you if there is nothing for her In it. No one will want to answer your questions or talk about boring topics if they’re not having fun or getting validation. That’s where flirt comes into play.
What Is Flirt?
Flirt is the innate element of the game but let’s try to define it first. Flirting is a set of actions that communicate sexual interest either to create the mutual attraction or just for the sake of amusement. It is mostly verbal but it can be nonverbal as well.
In the male-female conversation everything you do and say for fun, to make her like you or to project your sexual intent can be considered flirting.
If you’re talking to her and you are not flirting then you are working very hard to get into the friendzone.
Without flirt the conversation will be boring, mundane and of a touristy/hairdresser type. If you could have the same talk with a male stranger or friend then you’re definitely not flirting.
How To Flirt?
The most effective technique for flirting is putting the girl in a box she doesn’t want to be in. Accuse her of something, make her defend herself, correct you. “You seem like you’re studying something boring, like law or mathematics” or “you look like you’ve just got your salary and now you’re going to buy 20 pairs of shoes”.
Some say that when a girl explains herself to you she’ll backward rationalize that as “I like that guy, otherwise I wouldn’t care what he think; I’d never explain myself to someone I don’t care about”. I’m not sure that’s exactly the case but it seems plausible.
First 2-3 minutes of a flirty conversation can look like a constant battle where she wants to crawl out of a box only to be put into another. Don’t overdo it but it is certainly much more fun than asking her “who are you?” and “what are you doing?”
Also – whatever she says you can twist, exaggerate, ridicule. Don’t be logical, be silly. Make fun of her and go back to accusations. Boring won’t do, be creative. That’s how to flirt! Once you realize you can let go of all logic and girls love that you’ll be fine.
Remember that nothing is moderate, if she’s out to buy a purse – she’s a shopaholic, if she feels cold – she probably hates winter, if she’s tired on a Saturday morning – she’s a party girl. It really doesn’t have to make sense as long as it makes her react and/or is funny.
Even if you know a lot of great lines and you’re good at active flirting sometimes you lose all that good vibe when she asks you a question. Why? You answer logically and directly. That’s not the way to go!
Make her guess, make something up or exaggerate. You’re working in IT? Say “I work in the best industry in the world but honestly, people there are really weird”. You’re from England? “Where I’m from? If I tell you you’d think that I’m used to rain and fog”.
In any conversation (texting and face to face) do not give her what she wants, at least not all the time. Do not answer her questions directly. Joke, evade and if she asks you about two things – give only one answer.
Once you reach the hook point and the Investment phase she’ll want to know something about you, something real. I’m always saying that she should know about three details (two cool, one personal) and she also has to learn them in the right order as you cannot change first impression.
Investment is still time for flirting but you have to dial it down. Guys who are too high energy all the time are risking being labeled as clowns. While it may work for some, I believe it will only help to show her your other side. Even if it’s only for a while.
Now that you know how to flirt your sets should become less robotic and definitely more fun… and flirtatious.