Assume She’s Already Attracted (Or Else…)
Ever since I started daygaming back in 2013 everyone said “assume she’s already attracted” and they were right. For oh so many reasons.
In Pick Up, Assume It Will End Good
When you’re picking up a girl, or even dating her, you cannot wonder whether or not she’s attracted. If you’re unsure you’ll make a lot of stupid mistakes. What’s even worse, you’ll be too cautious and too guarded to succeed. After all, it’s all about advancing as fast as you can without getting a hard “no”.
If you’re thinking too much you’re going to fuck it up and in the best case – you’re going to do things far too slow. That doesn’t sound so bad, sometimes you’ll just wait for longer that is necessary. Some other times your pace will be so slow that girls will see it as lack of confidence and you’ll lose them just because you wasn’t pushing hard enough.
Assume the sale and only work out the details.
It’s all about the underlying mindset of picking up girls during the day (which is nowadays called daygame) and dating. It would be stupid to chat a girl up if you don’t think you can get her. It’s counterproductive to date a girl just because you think you’ll somehow make her attracted later. You have to have reasonable evidence that’s already the case or you can just talk yourself into thinking that. Either way works just fine.
Thinking that everything will end good, meaning you get number/date/kiss/sex/relationship/whatever, will help you proceed with more confidence and your true intent. I only hope that when the girl tells someone to fuck off and to never call her again none of my readers would continue to “assume she’s attracted”. Be optimistic but don’t be an idiot.
In Relationship, Assume It Will End Bad
There is one very simple reason why you can assume it will end good if you’re picking her up (or dating) – you have nothing to lose. Nothing bad can happen if your assumption turns out to be false and you can miss a lot of good things if you think otherwise. If you have nothing to lose then even worse case scenario isn’t that bad.
This is not the case when you’re thinking about anything more serious than a casual relationship. You cannot be optimistic and just assume she’s not seeing other guys or that she wants the same thing as you do. The reason is exactly the same – your assumption should help you, not hurt you if it turns out to be false.
It’s not a discouragement, it’s a warning. You should always think about the consequences in case you’re wrong about the fundamentals. Once again – in dating it could mean she’ll never answer your texts again, big deal. In relationship you risk getting your feelings hurt, being cheated on or even losing half of your wealth.
This whole philosophy boils down to one very simple sentence: when you have something to gain, assume it will end good and proceed with caution but when you have something to lose, assume it will end bad and proceed with even greater caution.
Everyone is delusional about the world we’re living in. We all have our own lies that we tell ourselves every day. I simply don’t get how you can lie to yourself to feel worse. How can you assume “nothing ever works out”, “all the people are against me”, or even “there is no way that girl would want to sleep with me”.
We’re creating our own reality. And I don’t mean it in any coaching-style wishy-washy way. It’s a simple effect of confirmation bias – you look for the things that support your views and your mindset. If I think that everyone is open and enjoys a chat with a stranger then I’ll find people who are like that. If you think every girl is bitchy and only waits to tell you to fuck off then you’ll encounter (and remember!) more of those.
So if everyone is delusional, make those delusions work in your favor and not against you. What do you have to lose?