All PUA-s Are Fucked Up
Let’s face it – all the guys in the pickup community are somewhat fucked up in their respective heads. Don’t get angry. Everyone out there is crazy in a way. The question is – is this the right type of insanity for you?
We Don’t Want To Be Like Everyone Else
The crowd at any given pickup forum (#polishpickupforums included) is very similar and at the same time very specific. Some guys have serious issues, some are looking for ways to develop themselves and many are there just to “bang a lot of chicks”. And of course there are some who are trying to get their exes back.
While motivation vary most of them don’t want to be like everyone else. “I want my ex back” guys would be an exception as all the other men a) want to improve b) don’t want to live their life with an average of 7 sexual partners. That alone distances them from the general population.
Many guys discovered PUA/Red Pill/Manosphere when they were looking for easier ways to sleep with hot chicks. Then they realize they actually can change themselves into someone they would like and they embark on a journey of self-development. I was one of those guys.
To a PUA everyone else is “blue pill” or “normal” and he doesn’t want to be like that. It is true that guys actively and massively picking up girls are – and always will be – an insignificant minority. In that regard they succeed in being some kind of exceptional.
There Are Reasons Why We’re Into This…
Look around. Your friends, colleagues and quittances all live in a totally different world. Waking up to go to their 9-to-5 jobs, stuck in relationships that aren’t working good, no hobbies, mediocre sex life, lack of fun. They simply don’t know anything else is possible or even within their grasp.
Countless times I’ve heard “I couldn’t do what you do” said without giving that statement single thought. I was like everyone else but then I realized there are people out there living a different life. And there are plenty of them so that means I could become one of them!
Becoming a PUA is one of the oh-so-many ways to be unlike “normal people”. On a business blog you’d read about starting your own company. On a travel blog – how visiting tens of countries every year can change your life. Since we’re here it’s obvious that most of you chosen picking up girls as a way to avoid miserable and predictable “normal” life.
“I don’t want to be sexless guy stuck in a dead-end relationship without a clue about male-female relationships and having no idea how to get a girl I like.” That’s a good motivation.
…And There Are Consequences
Being unlike anyone means that some things, “normal” things, will not be available to you or at the very least getting them will be very hard. It’s exactly the same with every kind of escape from the Matrix. E.g. once you start working for yourself and earning money that way it’s almost impossible to go back to a desk job.
Once you learn how to pick up girls you really like and you do it long enough to see how they operate and what they’re capable of then you’ll have very hard time going back to a “blue pill” naive relationship. I’d even say it’s impossible without a lobotomy.
It’s a good thing. You won’t make mistakes other (“normal”) guys make that cost them their masculinity, their sanity or their relationships. You’re much better prepared to deal with women just because you’re more experienced and more successful.
There are also downsides. Having a “normal”, monogamous relationship is going to be extremely hard. Just read what Nick Krauser and Troy Francis have to say on this topic. Yet, it can be done – you can have a girlfriend, even one that you’re exclusive with.
PUA In A Relationship
Still, just because we’re all fucked up, a lot of sexually experienced men will avoid relationships at all. Even if that’s what they really want, they’ll say “it’s not how a PUA should live” or “every serious relationship is oneitits”.
Aren’t we all in this to do what we want to do and what makes us happy? If there is a girl who you genuinely get along, you’ve looked for red flags carefully and you still have no real objections in trying something more serious – should you do it?
Recently I had a lot of discussions on that very topic. Expect next week to be a “relationship week” on this blog.