There will be times in your dating life when a girl will try to force monogamy on you. Because if you follow all the best rules, including “sex first and then (maybe) a relationship” you’ll make her attracted, addicted and in love with you. And it’s going to be tough.
When you give her awesome sex and you’re an awesome guy then in time she’ll inevitably want more. That usually means more serious relationship. Sometimes she’ll even want you to be her boyfriend which kind-of implies monogamy.
It doesn’t matter whether her demands are just implied or given verbally. Once she starts to expect more you cannot avoid this topic any longer – it has to be addressed. Again, it doesn’t mean you have to have “The Talk” but in some cases that’s what you really want to do. You absolutely need to resolve the situation.
Avoiding the topic means that the next time it will come up it will be more serious and she’ll be more emotional. Think about it as a shit test – don’t make a fuss about it. If you avoid a topic by joking or ignoring it in time she’ll start to think that it is a big deal for you. And you definitely want to avoid that.
Terms And Conditions
If she demands some kind of upgrade to your relationship then you have three simple options: you can agree to the conditions, you can break up with her or you can lie. Breaking up is the easiest. If you have other girls in your life, you don’t particularly care about her and she demands something you don’t want to give then breaking up sounds reasonable.
Some girls won’t ever agree to be in an open relationship with you. Once they set their minds, monogamy is non-negotiable. However, for most women simply staying in an indeterminate state where she suspects you’re not exclusive but she doesn’t want to confirm it is enough.
I don’t recommend lying as it always backfire. It doesn’t matter if you’re just picking her up or are in a relationship every lie means you are pretending to be someone else. That not only hurts your congruence but it also has tendency to get nasty in time. And it also takes too much effort to cover up all your lies.
It would seem that working out the terms is, at least in theory, the most reasonable but it also means you’re not doing what you really want to do. If you treat the girl just like a fuck friend then don’t pretend that you want to be her boyfriend. Drop her and both of you will feel better about it. Stay true to your desires but also listen to yourself.
“She Loves You Yeah, Yeah, Yeah…”
Doing everything right with a right girl sometimes ends in her being madly in love with you. It’s not enough to live by all the relationship mantras to be ready for “something more”. The girl also has to be somewhat special.
I’m definitely not talking about oneitis. I’m simply considering the odds. You can’t get along with every single girl you end up sleeping with. That’s just not going to happen. Some will just end up being notches and you’ll never want to even see them again. Others will be cool girls but still – that would be it.
Then there will be those girls that are not only hot but also their personalities and mindsets align with yours. To hit such a jackpot is rare but it does happen. Unfortunately, usually those girls will also be crazy, in relationships or there will be other reasons why there is no point in starting anything serious with them.
Remember that it’s fairly easy to upgrade a relationship from a fuck friend to a non-exclusive girlfriend or even an exclusive one. It’s almost impossible to downgrade without losing the girl, at least for a while. Therefore careful vetting and that special kind of girl are necessary to even think about agreeing to “something more”.
But if you’re already thinking about it then you’re already halfway there.