Daygame Mantras (part 1)
I’ve been thinking about follow-up to the well-received Relationship Mantras post for a while. It seems like throwing a lot of catchy phrases that accurately describe my mindset is a well-received move. Today I’m going to do exactly the same thing but with my daygame beliefs. Here are my daygame mantras.
Unlike the Relationship Mantras, I’ll publish this in two parts. Apparently, it’s a better idea so let’s find out about that. You can find the next part here.
You Don’t Know Anything Before You Approach
The term “avoidance weasel” is around in the community since about 2011 and apparently it was Bodi himself who coined it. Your mind is very good at producing rationalizations like “she probably is waiting for her boyfriend”, “she’s in a hurry”, “she looks bitchy” just to stop you from doing that very dangerous and frightening thing which is talking to an attractive girl.
Girls dressed in designer labels showcasing their resting bitch faces along with their fake boobs are in fact more bitchy than your usual girl. But this is not an excuse to a) not approach them if you fancy that type of girl b) avoid women who have only a subset of those features (e.g. resting bitch face alone isn’t a valid excuse).
A lot of guys are not only making unfounded assumptions about the girls but they also make them about themselves. “I’m too tired to approach”, “my vibe is off today”, “I’m late to the gym”… Stop it. You’ll never know how your vibe looks for other people unless you start interacting with them.
I’ve been out daygaming countless times thinking that I’m feeling off only to discover that reactions are as good as always. In the same manner, there have been hundreds of sets when I thought girl was in the bad mood but it turned out it’s just her resting face.
She Has Nothing Against Being Approached
Let me rephrase that: she has nothing against being approached in a right way by a non-weird, high-value man. That means if you creep the fuck out of girls then maybe there is something wrong with you. If all the girls hit you with their bags or run away screaming then it is you. She wouldn’t react like that to a guy who has his shit together.
“Any woman going to the mall to buy groceries doesn’t think about being approached by a man of her dreams. At the same time – she has nothing against it.”
She has to know that there is a way for her to benefit from this interaction. She can feel validated because a good-looking guy finds her attractive or she can enjoy flirting with a charming man. But if in her head there is nothing she can gain from you then of course she won’t be happy when you take her time.
If you are a high-value man and you have something to offer (be it relationship, casual sex or even a good chat) then she’ll welcome that variety to her day. Why wouldn’t she?
Rejection Is Fast
I already wrote about game being in large part the skill of avoiding the hard “no” while pushing towards sex as fast as possible without scaring her away. I emphasized the fact that rejection is final. There is no recovery from “no”. Once you’re done you’re sexually nonexistent to her.
Friendzone is the worst thing that can happen for you as it lacks closure. It’s way better to burn the bridge and get rejected than stay in limbo.
Hard and final rejections usually come pretty fast. The girl can discriminate against you on a number of reasons but if you’re lucky she’ll do it right away. That means you shouldn’t be angry about “sorry, I have boyfriend” or “no, thanks” sets. They are just saving you a lot of time.
Of course, it would be nice if you can find out why the girls are rejecting you that fast and fix that if you can. But rejections aren’t something you can get rid of.
You Can’t Get Every Girl
Any guy who claims that you can pick up every girl is a moron. Especially if he’s hiding behind bullshit theories like “if you didn’t succeeded it means you didn’t find the right way” or “you could get her if you would do something different”. Unfortunately for most cases “something different” is a totally different guy picking up totally different girl.
There are women in happy relationships, there are girls who are just not interested in what you have to offer, and there are broads that don’t like you how you look or behave. There are lot of women out there who would tell most of the male celebrities to fuck off. It’s not enough to be good-looking, charming and all that. You have to get along with her.
Even if you’re the guy for that particular girl, she’d normally fancy you and want to have sex with you then if you stumble upon her on a really bad day then she might not even want to speak with you. That happens.
There are countless reasons why she’s not interested in you today. If you only approached her in a different way, on a different day, dressed differently, with a different vibe or when she was in a different mood or even one week later when she is dumped by her boyfriend or… Stop it. There are infinite amount of things that can go wrong but there are also countless other girls you can approach. Don’t obsess over any single one.
First Impression Is Of Highest Importance
Simply put: you cannot change anyone’s idea of who you are. Every successive piece of information will be added to the previous ones and – if necessary – it will be molded to fit what’s already in her head. If your stop was weak and you looked like a wimp then she’s not going to believe you’re an successful MMA fighter. You’ll be a wimp with issues who compensates by fighting. Bad luck.
Everything stacks so if you’re dressed like a bum then she’ll ignore those pieces of information that might suggest you’re rich. If your open was confident, dominant and masculine she’ll somehow forgive you that you work in IT. Whatever you do or say the image that she’ll create in her mind will be coherent.
There are countless studies saying that everyone is jumping to conclusions much faster than you think. At the same time, those conclusions are very often immutable – we don’t like to be proven wrong so usually we just ignore what doesn’t fit.
Do not oversimplify this. There is no such thing as “perfect daygame opener” as it is a) individual thing b) much more dependent on your vibe that you’d like. If I have a perfect vibe and great mood then no matter how I open I’ll make good first impression. At the same time that first impression is not only about your charisma but also about your lifestyle. Read the full blog post for more as this is indeed a huge topic.
You Lose More When You Don’t Approach
In life you always regret the most things that you haven’t done. Yeah, of course, there probably is some stupid shit that you say you regret doing but you’d probably do it anyways even if you knew how it turned out. Those things that you didn’t do are those who actually sting.
Any chance is better than no chance. If you approach that girl, you might have only 2% chance that you’ll sleep with her. But if you don’t the chance is always 0%.
When you weasel out of approaching a girl you’ll immediately regret it. You know that no bad thing can happen and the worst-case scenario is another rejection, big deal. Unfortunately, the more you believe your excuses the more you strengthen the habit of not approaching. You should be teaching yourself exactly the opposite. You should always approach that girl who gave you an IOI or that one who made your pants a little bit tighter (and bulgy).
There is one exception to that rule – vibe protection. If you’re feeling down or tired and/or you’re avoiding “guaranteed blowouts” so that you can keep going longer then it seems like a valid excuse. Just make sure that you actually will approach other girls that you think you have higher chance of succeeding. You’ll definitely know when you’re using that or any other excuse to bullshit yourself.