Topic for today is the package. Long discussions with sharkk and some of guys on Twitter (I don’t know if you want to be named) prompted me to think about what makes a girl stay in a relationship with our proverbial PUA.
Not The Attractiveness Again…
Okay, easy. The topic of what women find attractive and why they sometimes prefer quick sex and sometimes they marry a beta male has been completely and utterly dissected. Go read The Rational Male if you want the details. If my superficial comments are enough, read Primal Seduction vs. Calculated Courtship and Internal vs. External Validation. What the hell, How To Get A Girl To Like You is a good post as well.
From now on I’ll assume that you’re familiar with hypergamy, women’s dual mating strategy and the various reasons behind why a trophy wife fucks a pool boy and why a posh model girl won’t necessarily fuck a student on a Harley. The concept of the package is difficult to define in other words than “what do you have to offer to the girl”. So I might start with yet another quote.
Introducing The Package
Browsing old posts and videos, I stumbled upon an interview with good young Nick Krauser. “Young” as the video in question is from 2012, more than 5 years ago. I definitely encourage you to listen to the full hour interview as you’ll not only discover a more “purple” variant of Nick but you’ll also probably refresh the basics (and who doesn’t need that?).
“Ultimately if you want to attract a beautiful, high self-esteem women, the kind of women who you would really like to have in your life, then she has to have a reason to like you. And that reason is going to be because you’re a good guy. I don’t mean a “nice guy” (…) but you’re a guy who’s fitting the archetype of successful, well-developed man.” (23:45) – Nick Krauser
First takeaway is that she has an archetype and she is looking for something. I went about it in the post on internal and external validation – some girls might be looking for a guy in a car to show off to her friends, others might want to fuck a foreign man. Girl you meet in a gym will probably care more about whether you’re fit and the one you’ve stumbled upon in a very expensive mall will probably check out your clothes very carefully.
That doesn’t mean she is necessarily looking for all of those things although sometimes it is precisely the case. So your “package”, the things because of which she’ll find you attractive, should be either best of the best (top of respective hierarchy) or you should have a lot of them (jack of all trades).
First approach makes you specialized in picking up very specific type of girls – e.g. pulling girls from nightclubs or daygaming outcasts. The other will definitely make more girls available to you as you can adapt your persona to a given girl (by mentioning a subset of your traits). At the same time your game has to be tighter because you’ll probably won’t dominate any hierarchy.
Maturity Of The Package
I’m not mentioning maturity just to talk about the age of the girl but also about the stage of the relationship. Younger girls and women in the beginning of the relationship are more focused on attractiveness (broadly defined) and in time they shift their interest to more providerish qualities.
Of course you have to take into account the reference point – if at first she was looking for a guy with a fast sport car later she might expect a mansion. Similarly, if she was excited for a short motorbike ride, later on she might prefer a trip to a different country.
Are girls attracted because of one thing and then stay in relationship because of something else? I think that in the beginning the promise of the package is attractive (along with your charisma). Actually delivering it and keeping your word is why she stays with you.
So at first she is attracted to you, obviously, with all the things she can see and the way you make her feel (think: game) but also to a promise of what you will be and how she’ll fit into that (think: lifestyle). If your game is good or your package attractive, she might sleep with you before she verifies your claims. But sooner or later – she will call your bluff.
Delivering The Package
How to use the package in the actual pickup? I think I’ve made my case with the post on future projections. If it is still not clear, then let me reiterate.
When meeting a girl you’re crafting a persona just for her. Even if you’re not promising her things she’ll imagine being a part of your life and she’ll extrapolate future scenarios from what you’re saying. If I’m a guy who is traveling a lot and doing crazy things – the girl will think that it is who I am. Joking about us doing those things together sounds to her like a promise.
Showing that you keep your word makes you stand out from all of the guys who are just the talk. You actually make the girl believe in all of the scenarios that she herself created in her own mind. If you do that before you two have sex – it’s a massive spike in attractiveness. If after – you’ll get her more comfortable and more prone to developing real feelings for you.
Beware – if you don’t follow up on any of your future projections you’ll be labeled as fraud and “every other guy”. And that means you’ll going to lose the girl, especially if you repeatedly fail to deliver the lifestyle you let her believe that you have. And, as always, it will be all your fault.