Positive Energy, Not High Energy

Fat guy dressed as clown with a chick. Positive energy my ass.

There are many people in the “manosphere” who recommend being high energy, outgoing and extrovert. What’s left four us introverts? Positive energy, I guess.


Low vs. High Energy

It’s common to associate low energy with being boring and depressed. Just because someone isn’t jumping and running around it doesn’t mean that he isn’t happy or exciting. Unfortunately, we are also low energy when we’re tired, hungover or hungry – so most people recognize it as something rather negative.

Stopping a girl during the day requires an outburst of high energy. There’s no other way to capture a girl’s attention.

It doesn’t mean that you can’t be attractive being restrained. Let’s bring back our beloved film example of a masculine man – James Bond. You can’t really say he’s high energy. You can’t think of him dancing in the club, talking to everyone and being the life and death of the party. That’s something more for Austin Powers.

I’m not saying that high energy people are clowns. I admire outgoing people and sometimes I even envy their ability to capture and hold the attention of big groups. Extroverts are having fun that way and they are charging their batteries. Introverts are using a lot of their own willpower and steam just to stay social.

On the other hand low energy people excel in one-on-one scenarios and are great snipers – they know how to locate and find their perfect target and how to fully capture someone’s attention creating “a bubble”.

I’ve seen both approaches work really well – both fun and exciting dates can be successful. They differ only in the main emotion that is exploited. One man is saying “join me on the fun adventure” and the other “follow me into the exciting unknown”.

Fat guy dressed as clown with a chick. Positive energy my ass.

No, no, no, no – not like that. Arrghh…


Negative vs. Positive Energy

What is very often omitted in deliberations on energy is the positivity aspect. I’d say it is the most important angle. The girl can join you or she can follow you but she doesn’t want to have anything to do with negative people.

Why would anyone associate with anyone who makes them feel bad? If you’re a guy who gets carried away in his self-amusement and adventure or an egotistical party type the result will be the same – girl will feel left out. If you’re complaining and seeing only bad in other people and places – you’ll quickly destroy the vibe regardless of the energetic content of the date.

That’s even more true for the daygame approach because you have so little time and so many qualities to display that there is simply no space for negative content. Positiveness should ooze from every pore of your body. There are no problems and nothing is impossible.

I’ve always been saying that there are three reasons not to daygame: having full bladder, empty stomach or freezing (in the winter). There’s also fourth and this is a big one – not having your life together.

Some men are having difficulties in life, health or work problems, family issues, etc. If you simply cannot put them aside in a sealed box when you daygame it’s going to fuck up your vibe. There is no way you can display positive energy if you don’t feel it. It’s not something you can fake. Deal with your problems first, they’re far more important than picking up girls.


Should You Be High Or Positive?

You definitely shouldn’t be high (as in “stoned”) but I’d say having positive energy is a requirement for good game. Being high energy may help only when you’re a natural extrovert, otherwise it will come as fake. And girls do see fake right away.

Don’t forget that stop and open should always be high energy. It shouldn’t be a problem to muster up your spirit to speak loud, put on a big smile and stop her with full intent. It’s only for those first few seconds!

Being positive is a different than being an extrovert. Even if you’re naturally low-key and subtle you can still be hilarious, funny, interesting and – what’s even more important – mysterious and a threat. Women like the chill that comes with a dangerous man much more than fun that comes with an energetic guy. At least when it comes to sexual relationships.

As you all know this is written by an introvert. Most of my wings are extroverts and I’ve been comparing our game a lot. We all have one thing in common – we let ourselves go and burn a lot of energy on our approaches trying to capture the girls’ attention by projecting – for the lack of better word – awesomeness. Regardless of whether we’re doing it all out or low-key.

If you have to chose between high and positive energy – go for the latter. If you can do both without appearing fake then by all means do so! What you definitely want to avoid is showing negative energy and stopping the girls without intent or any emotions whatsoever. Remember, daygame is supposed to be fun! And that kind of implies positivity.


Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

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agskor - 2017-07-13

You should be REAL – whatever real is in the moment – and not avoid being “negative”, “low-energy” or “beta-comfort” if that’s what a woman in front of you needs in the moment


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