Do Not Learn Game For Her
A lot of work, many coaching sessions, little to no time for this blog – that’s July for me. Thankfully, coaching means I have observations of other people to share. You’ve guessed correctly – it means a lot of mental masturbation.
Why People Learn Game?
Lately I’ve been struck with the notion that not all guys learn game to increase their own odds of success at the sexual marketplace. Heresy! Blasphemy! Why else would you want to learn That One Opener That Will Get You Every Number?
Jokes aside I get that there are different motives for getting into that PUA stuff but I thought that all of them have something in common – desire to be more desirable. The ability to woo girls. Increased social skills and confidence to be able to at least try to pick up girls wherever and whenever you want.
It’s not like if you want to get better in all that you’d just settle down for the first girl that you can fuck. We’re in this to get better – either get more lays, hotter girls, make our relationships more sexual or get faster and easier successes. We can measure what we’re after and very often we do just that to see if it works.
And now some guys are telling me that they’re not interested in seeing that it really does work.
“There Is No One”
If you’re looking for a way to pick up “that one girl” or you think that “she’s a challenge” or maybe “you agree that you should not be pursuing that lead but…” then you’re in this for all the wrong reasons. I’m not saying that learning game won’t help you but I’m pretty sure that it isn’t what you’re really looking for.
Getting a better life, style, body, more satisfaction, confidence and happiness is a byproduct of trying to get more girls into your life. Plural. You are not on that long and exhausting journey of self-development just to resolve that one issue you have with that one girl. And definitely not to learn a bunch of theory that you will never use.
“But I just want a girlfriend” cry so many guys, especially those young. This is a manifestation of their insecurities and scarcity mindset. They’re afraid that they get only one shot at finding a really cool and compatible girl. They try to avoid mistakes, which is precisely why they make them and lose girls.
“I don’t want to sleep around!” But would you like to keep a girl around? Then learn how to do that. There is no learning without practicing your social and dating skills on multiple girls.
I won’t even mention that without dating multiple girls you can’t be sure if that’s really what you want.
All this pickup stuff is about what works in the grand scheme of things. You have to think for yourself when it comes to a particular girl that you’re trying to seduce as there is no one that will help you with her. You’re the expert because you’re the one who knows her and it is you who’s been interacting with her that whole time.
That also means that you have to be very aware of NAxALT error where you assume that while all the things that you’ve learn through the seduction community are true, they don’t apply to that particular case. It’s dangerous! You should always start with the assumption that she is in fact like all the other girls out there.
The argument, therefore is not “All members of this group have the exact same propensity to engage in behavior A”, but rather “Behavior A has been observed in a sufficient number of group members, that it is probable that it exists in all group members to some extent.” – Black Label Logic
Of course, with experience you can quickly estimate how much the girl is like the others, especially if you’re targeting a small niche. But that doesn’t change that a) you should start by thinking she’s a standard case b) you should know how to handle that standard case.
Once again we’re back at the promise: when you learn game you will be able to get more/hotter girls faster and/or have more sex with them. That’s it. There is nothing about “that one particular girl”.
And if you’re happy with what you have right now then you really don’t need any of this. But if you are then you wouldn’t be reading all this, would you?