Blowout Anxiety Is Approach Anxiety
Approach anxiety is a disease raging on amongst even the toughest, hardest PUAs but in a different form. There are guys who can approach almost any chick… unless she walks around with resting bitch face or more or less permanent scowl. They pass if they know that there is a high probability of the set blowing up in their face. It’s the fear of a hard blowout.
Of course the topic is as old as the community itself. Take for example an excellent post by Brad P – Blow Me Or Blow Me Out. But let’s go back to daygame.
We all know good old approach anxiety – it’s the stress of being rejected by a girl, fear of not knowing what to say. It’s a debilitating and totally and thoroughly false feeling. It might seem real but anyone who did his share of daygame knows that there is nothing to be afraid of.
Because it really is the fear of unknown. In time and with experience that feeling goes away and is replaced by something else – fear of well-known. Then it’s the stress of knowing exactly what will happen – the bitchy girl is going to completly and utterly destroy you. Or at least she’ll try to do that.
If you can have fun or even make fun of the girl when she tells you to fuck off (never in those exact words) then you have no reason to fear the rejection. I get it – it will use some of your courage and willpower but avoidance will make you feel even worse. Especially if it happens regularly.
I don’t think blowout anxiety is something different than approach anxiety. It’s just a different manifestation of the same issues. It’s the big crybaby inside who just doesn’t want to feel bad after a girl completely ignores him or rolls her eyes. Oh boy, that’s a real disaster…
Can you really say you don’t have approach anxiety if you have no problems with approaching only specific type of girls or you’ve found yourself a small niche where your thing works? You can backward rationalize it all you want but if you repeatedly see a girl that gives you a boner and don’t go after her – you’ve been lying to yourself.
Guaranteed Blowouts (GBOs) are so common in Kiev that it’s impossible not to do them. That’s why I only coach here when I’m asked to and I’d never bring a beginner to Eastern Europe.
I’m not saying you have to go and expect a great reaction from the type of girl that usually isn’t impressed at all. If you’ve done hundreds or thousands of sets you know that it will probably will a blowout. But in some way you have to do it, to remind yourself why you’re in the game.
Why To Do It?
Are you doing all this to get the girls you really like or just to get laid? If it’s the latter then by all means – go only for the girls you’re sure that are into you and will be impressed by your approach. But that usually means going for the girls below what you could get if you weren’t so fragile. See why this is exactly the same old approach anxiety?
Some complain that the game used to be about getting hottest chicks and now it’s just about getting any girl. It’s different for everyone but I think if you’re trying to learn game then you’re going after the girls that you personally like. So why not approach those girls and learn how to decrease the rejection ratios?
There are certain types of girls that will just almost never react well to a daygame approach. The keyword is “almost”.
I’m not even going to mention (whoops) that there is a real chance that the interaction might actually go surprisingly well and you’ll get a number/date/lay. But I don’t think you should expect that. Especially with those sets it will only help to go and expect hope for nothing.
What Is Stopping You?
If you try to avoid hard rejections that means you’re aiming at getting at least a good conversation every single time. It’s impossible as you have no control over other people. And sometimes you simply cannot predict how the set will go regardless of how bitchy the girl appears.
If you still have approach anxiety in any form then you’re still trying to protect your ego. You think about what you can lose and not about what you can gain. You’re not conquering, you’re merely defending yourself.
Have fun with daygame, pursue girls that you really want, don’t care about the blowouts. If she didn’t even stop for you then she probably wouldn’t have stopped for anyone. So why do you even care? Approach another one!