Things You Can Learn From A 20 Year Old Girl (Part 2)
The story of how I’ve long gamed a 19-years old until she turned 20 is not just a field report. Thanks to our lengthy conversations I can share with you what a 20 years old girl
We’ve talked for hours on several occasions, usually filling the post-coital silence. She never had a chance to share and discuss her sexual past with someone who’s not judgmental and just gets her and I was happy to help.
I won’t lie to you – I was deliberately letting her talk and asking questions to get as many great quotes as possible. Maybe some of those sentences will open some eyes.
As usual: be careful of what the girl is saying. Listen to her actions, not her words. However, I think most of those things are true and I cannot put my finger on a thing that I’m certain she lied about.
“I was a virgin when we dated a year ago”
That alone explains a lot of what happened when we were first “dating” (two dates is still “dating”!). She really was inexperienced, young, in a new city and recently broken up with her boyfriend. That alone screams “vulnerable” and smart girl wouldn’t date a guy 10 years older in that state.
I’ve heard a story from a very close friend of some other 19 years old who used him to get rid of her virginity and later never called him again turning that experience into a bizarre one night stand. That’s possible but even then she needed more than one date to do that. Virgins and fast sex usually don’t mix.
Definitely she didn’t think of her virginity as something that she should get rid of as fast as possible. But at the same time still sex wasn’t a big deal for her, even though she was very religious.
“I was with my boyfriend for two years but we’ve never had sex”
She made her poor boyfriend wait for more than two years for sex and then broke up with him. He got absolutely no action as she “wasn’t ready”.
I think there was no attraction nor desire. She didn’t want to jump him nor did she ever felt that she should feel differently. That’s why I always say – sex first and then (maybe) a relationship.
Of course she was teasing him. She was (and still is) an attention seeker yet she never felt it’s something wrong. “I didn’t know that not having sex is tough for a guy. What an idiot I was!” She had no idea what blue balls are and that most guys would overreact when denied sex after tease.
Not having sex after heavy make out or even stopping sex while it’s already happening isn’t a big deal for most of the girls.
She even described that a guy she was dating after her ex stormed off her apartment when she did a sexy lap dance in her underwear and said “that’s it, nothing more is going to happen”. She was clueless.
“I slept with a guy I found on Tinder”
Apparently it’s impossible for a cute 19 years old girl to find a good guy so she went fishing on Tinder. The usual horrible stories followed that confession: guys being direct, overtly asking for sex, etc. She managed to go on a few dates but soon learned that “all guys are idiots”.
“But then I’ve found a guy who wasn’t an idiot and I’ve slept with him.” That romantic story doesn’t end well as apparently he turned out to be one of those idiots.
She admitted that she was naive as even though she no longer wanted to have sex with him she did whenever they met. The same happened with another guy from Tinder (or was it two other guys?) after which she concluded that “all men are idiots”. Typical.
“I met some guys that weren’t just about sex… but I only wanted to talk with them, nothing more”
If you want to remember only one quote from this post then let it be the one above. She met some cool guys from Tinder and her social circle. They were not horny dudes trying to fuck her. They were nice and as such they weren’t even considered attractive or sexual. She wanted to talk and… that was all. Those guys were immediately friendzoned.
Of course all the other guys were idiots.
You might think that going sexual too early might put you in the “idiot” category. Still, it’s better to be an idiot that gets laid than nice guy who doesn’t.
“I got back to my boyfriend but never told him I’m no longer a virgin”
After six months and three guys that she had sex with she came up with an idea that there is only one guy for her and that’s her ex. Imagine being with a girl for two years, probably seeing her every day, going on countless dates and spending together many night to finally get some action only after 2.5 years and 3 other guys. Brutal.
Apparently her notch count before me was four other guys (two or three off Tinder plus her double ex-boyfriend). Once she realized casual sex is not for her and that “all men are idiots” she decided to go back to the one guy she thought she felt something. But as we all know where there is no attraction there is no relationship.
“Before second breakup it didn’t even feel like we were together”
That might be a shocker for some guys. She came back to her old boyfriend, they were once again together but they’ve broke up for a reason. The novelty lasted just few months after which it “didn’t even feel like we were together”. What does that mean? “I haven’t felt guilty about sharing my number and seeing other guys.” That’s what she said.
Never go back to a girl you’ve broke up with. Especially if you were the dumpee. Put all that energy to finding someone else.
After the first breakup she started to go out and party and of course by the sheer amount of attention she got she realized she’s pretty. She had a lot of offers, she was sharing her number freely. After getting back to her ex that didn’t stop. And in her mind she wasn’t doing anything wrong.
“Nothing happened with those guys, just kisses and all that”
It should be no surprise that kisses are for girls what a handshake is for guys (or even less). She didn’t consider kisses anything serious. Hell, judging from her stories even being half naked with someone isn’t a big deal as long as there was no penetration.
Her partner count might be 5 at this moment but I’m pretty sure there were “other sexual activities” going on. Cute innocent angel she isn’t.
“I have no idea why I haven’t slept with you a year ago”
She has one close friend with whom she shares everything and apparently that girl was asking her a lot about what happened a year ago. She realized she has no idea – even back then she was horny and wanted me but decided on not going that far.
I have a theory that most girls have a switch in their heads that can turn off everything sexual no matter how horny she is. Maybe a circuit breaker better fits as the description because once that happens there is no flipping it back… during that encounter. Back off and try again later.
“I was 100% sure that nothing is going to happen even though I was about to stay for the night”
Girls are experts in lying to themselves (and by extension – to others). She wanted me to believe her that she was dead set on not having sex. Inviting herself over for a night to a guy 10 years senior. Yeah, right.
“I’m not stupid, I knew that something will happen, just not sex”. I’ll leave that sentence as it is, no comment is necessary.
“I don’t want to be one of many”
Now we’re getting to the things she said about me and her. The most common notion was that I’m a womanizer and she’s not okay with that… when it comes to being serious. She wanted to get some sort of commitment out of me “even though it’s not like we can decide that we can be together right now”.
You don’t decide you’re together. You have to start acting as you’re already a couple.
She was painfully aware that she’s not the only girl in my life. “You probably know a lot of girls and can sleep with a different one every week. I don’t want to be one of many.” There was nothing I could (or should) say to get her mind off that track. She knows that I have other options but she also sees that I like spending time with her. Uncertainty should keep her around me for a while.
I think it might have helped that I didn’t have time to meet her the first time she wanted to invite herself over. “When you said you can’t make it a week ago I immediately imagined that you’re with another girl.” Dread game works.
“Have you put on a condom?”
That’s a funny one. When we were fucking for the first time I came on her and after cleaning herself she casually asked if I had put on a condom or was I doing her raw. She said there’s no difference for her and she don’t mind. I guess that sums up sex education in Poland.