Office Romance – A Short Guide
Lately I’ve got few questions about picking up girls at work and office romance in general. I managed to date and seduce few girls with whom I worked. I even managed to have fuck friends from work. And no, I haven’t been fired for that.
Life is not only about daygame. I know, I know – it’s a shocking notion coming from an avid daygamer. But even in the dating realm – you’re not limited to the girls you’re meeting on the streets of your city. Knowing someone can help in the seduction process as you’re already familiar. Even more so if you’re experienced with generating desire in a total stranger.
During sad winter months I’ve been running few experiments testing other ways of meeting girls. When I come to coherent conclusions I’ll share them. For now let’s discuss office romances.
Know What You’re Getting Into
“Do not shit where you eat” is the most common warning label that comes up whenever someone asks for a way to seduce a coworker. Fortunately there is a way to navigate this minefield without hurting yourself. But you have to know that it is indeed a minefield and you’ll be twice as vulnerable if she’s your only sexual only option. Oneitis can be deadly in that case.
I would discourage everyone from dating at work if you want to have a casual relationship with a coworker and you’re not sleeping with anyone else at that moment. There are millions of women out there and most of them will be much safer choice. A proper office romance is somewhat different – things can get weird after you break up but they also tend to be more civil.
I’m usually optimistic. But if you’re getting yourself into an office romance (whatever type) then always assume worst case scenario. Can you afford losing that job or getting a company-wide label of womanizer? Do you want it that way?
I would never try to seduce a women who is higher in the company hierarchy than me. We know that all females are fickle and you’ll never know when she’ll have a really bad day and decide to sacrifice both you and your office romance for her own pleasure.
Judging from what I hear about the so called Western World I also wouldn’t date down in the hierarchy. That can potentially lead to very expensive lawsuits and maybe even losing your work. Thankfully, I live in Poland where you can’t sue anyone without a good reason and dating or even sleeping with someone isn’t such a reason (yet).
Keep It On The Down-low
Whatever you want to achieve – an office romance or a sex adventure – there is no point in announcing that to everyone. Safety first (and I’m not talking only about condoms). She doesn’t want to be judged. And things might not work out so it’s better for both of you if you can act as if nothing ever happened.
What really does help in situations like that is your fame as a flirty guy. If you’re chatting with all (or many) girls and everyone around notices that then it’s a perfect disguise for seducing the girl you really want. Maybe you’re talking with her a little bit more, maybe you’re teasing harder but ultimately no one can tell whether you’re serious or not. It’s just what you do.
I’ve slept with girls from my work who I am certain knew about my daygame shenanigans and even about this blog. For casual relationships being a ladies’ man isn’t a problem. It’s simply a social proof that raises your value.
You have to spike up her interest and generate attraction by flirting, joking and using sexual innuendos every now and then. It’s also good to make sure she knows what you’re about or at least knows that you’re single and open to a sexual relationship. Having done that – simply ask her out when no one is around.
Make it casual, “it’s been a long week, let’s have a drink tomorrow evening”. If she asks who is going to be there answer directly that just the two of you. Don’t label it as “date”, do not ask her out for a dinner or something equally stupid. Go for a beer or few drinks where you can use alcohol as yet another excuse.
Office Romance Or Just A Fuck Friend
You don’t have to decide what kind of a relationship you will have early on but you do have to maintain your frame at all times. If you’re a known womanizer then you’ll probably be better with acting as a player. Treat her as any other girl while focusing on the safety aspect.
Maintain the secrecy. Do not commute together. It’s better to meet her at the venue.
The more time you spend with someone the more you like that person and that’s true for office romances as well. You have an advantage – all the time you’ve spent together. You can use that and talk about “those times” and mention things you did together.
Do not talk a lot about the company you’re in – focus on her and her private life. If anything, you can say that it’s good to talk privately and freely without all those noisy people around. Destroy all the resistance before it even manifests. Everyone knows you shouldn’t be dating at work so you should make it seem casual and safe.
Sex first and then (maybe) a relationship. Nothing changes here. Try to end up in bed as fast as possible. If this happens quickly and you’re both okay with it afterwards then keep it casual as long as you’d like. Make sure she has no delusions as buyer’s remorse is precisely what can backfire.
In any case do not change how you behave at work. Keep being flirtatious and try to act as if nothing happened. Things will of course change to a degree. However, do not make a big deal out of it. Hold the frame. Reassure her that it’s normal and things like that just happen.
We all know of someone that got laid on a big party thrown out by the company or better yet – a trip. Far away from home and with lot of alcohol stressed people relax and do crazy things. That’s another way to seduce a coworker.
I wouldn’t recommend doing it out of the blue. All the preparations – flirting, being known for having a lot of girls – should be done before that. She won’t sleep with you if she can’t trust that you know what you’re doing and keep it on the down-low.
On the last huge office party I was chatting up a girl when her friend whispered something into her ear and left. The girl confessed: “I shouldn’t be talking to you, she said you’re dangerous. And it’s the second time I’ve heard that about you today.”
I’d say it’s better to flirt heavily and escalate to the point of making out and then finish the deal in a safer environment. Unless everyone is crazy drunk in which case – who cares?!
The Awkward Finale
Sooner or later things will come to an end and this is the second point where things can get nasty. If it was a relationship that just didn’t work out then it’s easier. You can even use all the clichés like “it’s not you, it’s me” and so on. Granted, if the girl was into you that will only make her invest more but you should at least avoid the crazy outrage.
If you were having just a casual office romance then her pride can get hurt after you reject her. I haven’t found a good way to deal with that. The best is to let her go slowly. Stop with the flirting, see her less frequently and in the end someone will say that it’s not working anymore.
All that sounds simple and reasonable but you have to know that this things backfire more often than not. There are horror stories written about office romances and rightly so. But if you’re a well-known playboy and she knows what she’s getting into – you can have some fun and still avoid all the nasty consequences.
But never ever do that if she’s to be your only girl.