Something happened in Kiev that didn’t happen in a very long time – I was interjected mid-set by another daygamer. It was a two-set* and I was closing one of the girls when some Ukrainian guy dragged away the other girl.
Say what? I thought this happened only during the night but there I was, holding my phone in my hand and being sure that the girl is going to flake after what just happened. And of course he didn’t even get the number.
We All Play By The Same Rules
Just from the practical point of view stealing a daygame set is as stupid as it can get. Not only you’re creating an awkward situation but you’re also undermining your own chances. Now she thinks something really weird is going on and even if the first guy was terrible and you’re brilliant she’s just been approached by two competing guys. How often does that happen to her during the day?
Stealing a set, AMOG-ing** – don’t be upset if something like that happens as it’s unfortunate part of pickup and way worse in nightgame.
We call it “the game” for many reasons. One is that there is both skill and luck factor involved. There are also rules and the outcomes are somewhat expected. Do what the guy did and you’ll probably lose.
I’m also not talking about some mythical “Bro Code” even though most guys that I know adhere to unwritten set of rules for their own benefit. There’s certain comradery between veteran daygamers as we all know the price of player’s lifestyle.
“You Are The Average Of Your Closest Friends”
You are who you hang around with and you attract people that are mostly like you. While it’s possible to become friends with people who have different personalities you can’t get along long-term with someone who has a different mindset.
There is a difference between being a confident man and being an asshole.
If you’re a big gaping asshole and don’t even consider other people around you then you might falsely think that you’re “alpha” and a cool lone wolf but in reality we always have a social circle around us. And that attitude will come back to bite you because you’re surrounding yourself with other assholes.
And it’s got other consequences as well. Live like that, impress girls with this kind of behavior and soon you’ll find yourself around women you don’t trust. Then someday you’ll find that they’re sleeping with your “best buddy” behind your back. It’s not cool but you can really blame only yourself for hanging around with such people.
What Goes Around Comes Around
I’m not a big believer in anything other than you should believe in yourself. That being said the idea of karma sounds very practical and reasonable. You not only surround yourself with like-minded people but in the long run everyone around you is going to treat you the way you’re treating them.
It would be stupid not to try to learn from others, especially when you’re struggling with something they seem to get. Just hanging around more successful guys teaches you a lot. And the institution of wingman is as old as the pickup itself.
Comradery is much greater in the nightgame community but so is the prevalence of dirty tricks. You’re working more groups and less single girls, there are far more applications for the wing profession. Sometimes you have to take one for the team or distract her friend.
But do you really think you can get far in daygame without wings, friends or acquantiences?
Daygame Is (Not) A Solitary Activity
You don’t necessarily need a wing if you’re daygaming on a sustainable pace – meaning the intensity that’s not going to burn you out. For some it’s few sets every day, for some it’s 50 per week. It doesn’t matter if you can do it for long periods of time.
There are times when you really want to push things forward and either work it through a dry spell, get more notches fast or visit a foreign country where you don’t have that much time to work on all the leads and you have to act really fast. All those scenarios mean a lot of harsh blowouts, flakes and a serious emotional rollercoaster. No one is immune to that.
That’s when having someone to joke about all the bad things that are inevitably going to happen is really priceless. After tenth “no English” or “married” set in a row you have to laugh with someone. When you double book a prime evening slot and both girls flake you really want to have a beer with a friend (after he comes back from a hilarious date where he was feeding the girl’s dog a hot-dog).
“I don’t care if I get the girls.” Bullshit! You care, that’s why you daygame. Don’t cry over it but it’s normal that sometimes it gets to you. Work it out.
I’m very introverted and I used to believe that I can handle such events but I was proven wrong. Traveling with someone helps immensely. And when you’re a well known asshole in our small community no one will want to travel with you or even daygame. If you think you don’t need others then good luck with that because once you start to grow you’ll also want to do more difficult things and you will unavoidably fail.
And having someone to help you is invaluable.
* We all hate the PUA lingo but sometimes it’s just concise…
** …and sometimes it’s just weird.