My Achilles Heel – Girls Who Talk Too Much

A couple sitting on a rooftop.

I’ve did it again. I’ve been caught off guard by a babbling girl and as a result date was non-sexual and as far from my plan as it could be. And it happened twice! With two different chicks!

There is that special kind of girl that just loves to talk. And you’ve heard a lot that “girl talking is girl investing” so you would think everything is going your way. But many times it couldn’t be further from the truth. The big question is – is the conversation going your way or hers?

“Holding the frame” has many definitions. One of them is “both parties are doing what person holding the frame wants”.

This is as much as “note to self” as it’s a tip to share. I’ve had those problems in the past but recently they’ve resurfaced. And there was a common denominator for those encounters.

Majority – if not all – of those girls were clearly Uninterested/Available on the Interested/Available Matrix. In other words they were time wasters looking for fuel for their egos or just bored chicks with nothing better to do.

It is possible to go on a date with an Uninterested/Unavailable girl. She will be totally focused on herself and will be using you as a validation tool. Eject.

The main problem with a girl like that is that she appears friendly. Too friendly. And with that friendliness in her voice she changes every topic for the one that suits her while steering clear of the seduction process.

Telling yourself that “with the next topic I’m going to stick to my guns” won’t work as you’ve already shown her that she can lead. You’ve just given a chainsaw to a kid with ADHD. Now wait until she finds the starting cord.


Deconstruction Of A Bored Girl

I can see at least few reasons why a girl can go out with a guy she’s not interested in. That’s not a complete list but it covers most of cases.

Attention whore. We all know that term. It’s an energetic vampire that feeds off guys trying to score with her. She welcomes every sign of admiration, all of the compliments and she’s there just to feed her ego. Neg hard and/or eject.

There is also a girl who might be looking for someone other than you. Okay, you’ve approached her and you made an impression that was good but not great. She wants a man in her life but she’s not entirely convinced that you can be that guy. That’s a “maybe not” girl that can be upgraded to “maybe yes” and sometimes even seduced. A lot of work ahead, proceed with caution or find someone more compliant.

On top of that – or even instead – she might just be bored. There is nothing particularly interesting happening in her life and a date with a handsome and charming guy who approached her on the street is a welcome disturbance. You’ll find out pretty quickly that she’s boring and has nothing to offer both emotionally and as a person.

A couple sitting on a rooftop.

“That’s it. Either you shut up or I jump.”

There’s also special category of girls who are going to pretend (or even believe) that you just want to hang out with her… as a friend. That means something is seriously wrong with your approach. She should have no doubts as to your intentions. Never.


Control Lousy Dates

If you’ve ever been on a date with a very shy girl that suppressed her desires right until she yelled “harder, better, faster, stronger” on your bed then you know that those girls can very easily be mixed with those uninterested. No tell comes to mind on how to distinguish those two early.

When in doubt – escalate. That’s the only way to confirm your suspicions.

Place a finger on her lips, shoosh her, say “wow, you really like to talk”. Repeat it as many times as you need. Let her know that she babbles nonsense and you’re not only far from being impressed but also bored to death. Qualify her and if that doesn’t help – escalate even further.

Try to kiss her, introduce sexual topics via question game, bounce her back, touch her – do anything that normally would be considered “too fast” at this point. If you’re already at that stage where too much of her talking killed the sexual vibe then you’ve already showed her that she can lead. And that’s very bad. Bold action is in order to restore the proper dynamic.

I’ve tweeted about the other thing I should’ve done if not for results then for mere amusement:

While probably not the best idea I’m sure it’s not worst either. She could shut up out of mere shock or it could make her storm off. In that case congratulations – you just avoided wasting more time on that lead. Not every girl can nor should be seduced.

The bottom line is that girl who talks too much is leading the date. She holds the frame. That’s unacceptable and fatal in results. You’ll be better off doing something, anything, even if it turns out to be shocking or outrageous. You have to control the interaction and lead.

Remember that the next time you’ll find yourself on such date. I will.


Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

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