Inside London Daygame Model – Attraction Is First
From the Mystery’s M3 model to the London Daygame Model everyone knows that attraction is the first step towards sleeping with a hot girl. Or even with a mediocre one. Or even in getting her on a date. It is also the first step in getting the girl’s number. Everything in the first phases of LDM is engineered towards generating attraction because without it we just don’t have any reason to talk to each other.
Even Dale Carnegie suggests in his timeless classic How To Win Friends And Influence People that we need to like someone before we want to invest in a relationship or even get to know each other. You just don’t want to talk to anyone who you don’t like and are not interested in. In case of male-female relationships that interest manifests as attraction. Unless, of course, you want to friendzone yourself.
Let’s face it – would you ever want to get to know a total stranger? Not a chance unless of course you’re for some reason interested. For men it’s very easy to become interested in a girl – nice legs, great boobs, cute face, you name it. But for the girls looks are usually not enough.
The attraction can come from various places and it can either happen in an instant or much later in the conversation. But don’t ever try to run rapport or comfort material without the girl properly hooked. The question is “does she like hanging out with me?“.
If she doesn’t like the idea of spending time with you then you have no reason to try to learn anything about her or even worse – make her know anything about you. You’ll only come off as a blowhard. Don’t be that guy. Make her interested in you first and yourself – likable. And by saying “interested in you” I mean “interested in what you have to offer”. Which is probably a sexual adventure, maybe with a hint of becoming her boyfriend sometime later.
I’m talking mainly about the approach but that reasoning is applicable to dates as well. If she doesn’t like the idea of being with you and just you for an hour of two then you’re lacking attraction. If she doesn’t feel safe and comfortable around you then you probably have a deficit in the comfort/rapport department. And of course if she doesn’t react well to your physical escalation (proximity, kiss, sex) then you need to work on your seduction. But let’s stick to the main topic.
Sometimes you find it really easy to attract a girl. She’s just into you, no matter what you do and many times it happens even before you do anything. She just looks at you, smiles, blushes or gives you an IOI and it’s set. She likes you. Maybe even fancies you. Granted, a lot of those girls will be below you on the SMV scale. Just remember from who you get your IOIs – a lot of those longing looks come from girls that you wouldn’t really want to know any better.
Daygame is random and inevitably there will be some girls even hotter than you that for some reason fancy you. Blinded by her looks and out of tune with your inner game you will assume that’s she’s special (first step to a terrible experience) and that what you see is not pure animalistic attraction but just kindness and politeness. And you’ll try to make her attracted.
What you really have to remember in those situations is to not fuck things up. Don’t oversell yourself. She already likes you. Your main goal is to make you two familiar enough so she will have some anchors attached to your name in her phone. You can’t be just “that guy”.
I’ve wrote about that many times – she should know about two interesting things about you and one boring like your hometown or what do you do for a living (see: displaying high value). If you have that and the instantly generated attraction just give her a reason or an excuse to meet with you and you’re done. Those sets are fun.
In most cases you’ll generate a huge spike of attraction just by the sheer power of the cold approach. Girls like that, especially when it’s done properly and by a confident and attractive guy. And if she was open to a potential relationship (e.g. lonely, horny, dumped recently) sometimes that’s all that was needed. You’re done. You find yourself in the “instant attraction” scenario.
Usually you’ll generate just enough attraction for her to become interested in what’s going to happen. That doesn’t mean she’s interested in you. Not yet. She’s enjoying the experience and if she can tie you to her having a good time you’ll get to the rapport phase. That’s what stacking and vibing is all about and that’s when you make good use of what I call hooks theory. Yup, you’re generating attraction by talking but it would be foolish to think that’s all there is to it.
A lot of sexual attraction is done by nonverbals – the way you look at her, the distance to her, gestures and touching her. Going beyond that there’s projected confidence and sense of entitlement. You’re not trying to make her attracted, you assume she already is. We’re now in the shady area of inner game. Remember that you can get her attracted to the things you do (lifestyle, adventures) or who you are (confident, cocky, make her feel good). Those two are connected but they’re different.
Who you are manifests in what you do. By telling the stories of your adventures and experiences you show some of the qualities you want to project. Unless you have carefully crafted assumption stories you won’t be able to talk her into believing you’re confident, courageous and good with women. And you’re still far away from “getting to know each other”. You’re vibing or – if you prefer – flirting.
She’ll be judging your social and seduction skills by how you behave. Whether or not she can feel that you’ve had a lot of girls. Whether you are not intimidated by her. Unfortunately, that’s something that’s not easily explainable but try to remember that you’re judged as a whole.
She won’t believe any of your crazy stories if you’re visibly stressed by her presence. Thankfully, doing a lot of approaches desensitizes you. And of course sleeping with a lot of girls does that even better.
The other thing that can create attraction in the stacking and vibing phases is putting yourself in a niche. When the girls sees your custom made Italian suit, an expensive watch and learn that you own a diamond mining business she can start to fancy you. On the other hand she might get hot for a member of a biker gang. Or for a piss-poor musician in a rock band.
Extreme examples aside what you’re going to say about yourself and the stories you tell can work in your favor displaying attractive qualities (recklessness, determination, audacity) or making you fit a certain attractive stereotype (rocker, adrenaline junkie, world traveler). In the latter case she will assume you have all the attritbutes generally associated with that stereotype.
Very often daygame is considered “game for silvertoungued guys”. That’s not exactly true as I’ve seen guys doing very primal flavor of daygame using mostly their dominance. But those guys weren’t learning London Daygame Model nor they could ever explain what exactly they were doing. So for us verbal skills are a must.
Skipping the attraction
There are guys new to daygame who enjoy the pleasantness of chit-chat with a random hot girl only to find out that the interaction is far shorter than they’d hoped for or she’s confused as to why you’d want her number.
I’ve been over this number of times – you have to have an agenda. The girl has to know that you’re there to pick her up. You want her (but of course – you don’t need her). If you don’t “do attraction” then you’ll be in a weird situation where you’ve approached a random stranger just to have a chat on the off chance that you might find some common interests. Bad idea.
Whenever girls gives you a fast blowout by quickly stating she has a boyfriend/husband/fiancée you’ve at least done something right. She knows what all that was about.
Skipping attraction is counterproductive and I cannot possibly see any circumstance where you would gain anything by doing such a move. Even if you get the number she’ll probably flake. And if not then you’ll get a very bland non-sexual date to nowhere where the girl will be surprised when you make a move. I’ve had a lot of those in 2014 and they are terrible waste of time.
In this post I’ve been mixing attraction, likability and interest a lot. They’re somewhat related. When you’ll be trying to attract the girl you’ll do that from all the angles out of which being likable is the least useful. You can be a jerk and still generate a ton of attraction. And sometimes you can even be just yourself and you won’t need anything besides your looks in which case it’s safe to assume she’s a “yes” girl. But I wouldn’t base my daygame on that.