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Sometimes You Need To Shut Up And Wait

Girl not texting a guy she likes.

Basic principles of so called text game are well known and established in the community: contact her every 3-5 days with a ping or text designed to elicit some sort of response, then steer the conversation to some sort of pretext to finally use that pretext to send an invite. I call that the SQI stack and it works if you’ve made big enough impact during your approach.

Text game is overrated. Texting is merely a continuation of your approach – you’ll hardly ever change her mind. Just set up a date.

If you haven’t made an impression then there are a lot of books out there with strategies designed to display your high value (DHV) over text and make her want to meet you. Consider those crutches to your foolproof approach and not a game plan. But nevertheless those crutches can be useful for the “maybe” girls. Also – let’s not forget about long game where she’s in a different city or country. But ultimately it always comes down to texting her an invite. “You can’t fuck a phone number” as they say.

There are number of scenarios when things don’t go according to plan. When you start you will learn the strategy of radio silence from the receiving end as girls are very good at employing it. You ask her a question or send her an invite to which she doesn’t reply at all. Chodes will send another text. Beginners know that they have to wait but when they text her the very next time they will continue severed thread of conversation. Bad idea.

Girl not texting a guy she likes.

“I’m not texting that guy… That guy I’m not texting either… That guy isn’t texting me, what a dick!”

 

What the girl is doing by not replying to your text is fairly simple: in her mind you’re not that attractive so she puts you to a test (maybe even subconsciously). When she’s not interested at all she will usually decline the invite. She didn’t so now you’re hanging there over the cliff with one hand grasping loose gravel. Far from ideal. Still, she expects you to fail her test which is going to happen when you ask your question again or send her a reminder forcing her to reply. You never* do that!

The go to strategy is to wait few more days and then start another conversation with a text/picture ping. Ignore what happened, you don’t want to comment on that. Sometimes it’s enough and the next invite will be either accepted (yay) or declined (at least providing you with a closure). But some girls are just silly cunts that want you to dance for them and the pattern continues – whenever you ask her for any sort of commitment she goes silent. Sometimes, the little bitch she is, she’ll text you after few days matter-of-factly telling you about her day.

Don’t fall into her trap! If she’s treating you with disrespect reply in kind. Actually, that means not replying at all – radio silence. Ignore her. Let her be the one to text twice in a row. Let her be just a little bit angry at your childish behavior. Everything is better than indifference. Caveat: if she was just toying with you she’ll quickly forget and move on to another orbiter. Game over.

Radio silence will work in your favor only if there was already some attraction. If it was just a quick number close – you won’t gain anything.

Most guys know how they should behave and they still don’t wait long enough. If you’ve never had a girl texting you “Hey, what’s up?” after weeks or months then you’ve probably never waited long enough. The alternative is you’re never made that much of an impact on a girl and they were never curious enough as to why you haven’t replied. In that case – work on your street game.

The problem with radio silence is that it is weapon used by both sides and it can result in a stalemate where both parties refuse to text first. You’re the man and you’re making things happen so eventually that should be you. Wait long enough. Weeks if you have been on a date and then things fizzled out (for example because you’ve went for a long trip) even months when it was just the great approach and then a lot of texting. The more you wait the more she remembers her idea of you and not the actual approach. So you’d better made long lasting impression.

Always have a great pretext when you try to revive a number after period of radio silence. Your birthday. A big trip. Running a marathon. Crashing a car. Whatever you yourself consider “significant”. Don’t explicitly say that it reminded you of her but you can suggest it, especially if it’s a travel to a place she fancies or some event she wanted to go (e.g. a concert). Make sure it works in your favor. Being fired isn’t a great occasion.

Sometimes it’ll work, sometimes it won’t. When you revive an old number treat it as any other lead – text her with the same frequency as the others. As always make sure you’re not writing more than her or replying much faster. But this time there should be little more texting before you invite as you’ll only get one shot to add to all those you’ve fired before.

Best strategy for unresponsive girls is: forget about them, get new leads. But texting them after few weeks/months costs nothing. Just don’t text girls with whom you’ve had zero connection.

The best employment of radio silence is when the girl is the one to text you first. That doesn’t happen very often though. When she writes to you after few weeks or months you can be pretty sure that something has changed. Most probably – she ran out of viable dick prospects, someone dumped her or she finally decided she needs to get back out there. Watch out for the latter after the Christmas and even more so after the New Year’s Eve. There will be a lot of girls looking for a boyfriend, lover or just a wild night.

Strategy outlined in this post is very much in line with what you read about r-selection and my recent transition¬†from working on the leads to heavy filtering. That deserves a post of it’s own as too many people confuse filtering with numbers game. Those two are different. Numbers game means just spam approaching and “hoping for the best” while filtering is an active process of screening. As such it’s much harder to do and you’ll inevitably lose some girls but if time efficiency is needed you should do so.

* Of course if that happens over and over again you can go nuclear and call her out on her silly games. I don’t think that it will change anything but at least it’s something different.

tddaygame
 

Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 9 comments
Lucas Maugeri - 2016-12-24

This is all well and good. My question is, though, aren't there any cases in which you simply delete the number? For instance (assuming you use whatsapp), let's say her profile pic suddenly disappears along with her status (you know you've been either blocked, deleted or both). What do you do then? What about if she sends lukewarm replies to your messages but she has never actually added you (you can't see her pic or status)? I don't mean you're supposed to feel butthurt and think this is disrespectful – could be viewed as a test – but I'm honestly thinking that one is at a disadvantage here, pretty much like talking to a seated girl while standing. Do you still consider that numbers should never be deleted? Just curious…

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tddaygame - 2016-12-26

I don't delete the number nor the texting history. For once – some girls get back to you after months and I'd like to have a context. I also sometimes review them trying to find what could be done better.

But you're right – when the game is over it is over for good. No more texting. Though to be honest I don't think I've ever been blocked or deleted. But ignored? Sure. Three messages without a reply and I'm done trying.

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Lucas Maugeri - 2016-12-27

Jesus, man! You're lucky… Here in Argentina it's a common occurrence. Lots of girls – not everyone of them though – are mentally fucked beyond recovery, and will play stupid games just to mess with your head. So a belligerent approach to the game and willingness to filter out timewasters are of utmost importance. I think that's why I incline towards deleting numbers; however, I want to try new things and I hear what you say about not denying yourself the possibility to see them months after when they suddenly appear in the radar once again.
Sure, I don't fool myself and I know that many times the lack of response is due to having done a weak performance on the streets. I try to be as objective as I possibly can, but I tell you this: there is a distinct behavioural pattern between local girls and foreigners coming to live here, such as Colombians or Venezuelans. I choose the latter whenever possible (they mostly settle down in the capital city, my hometown is about 500 km from it), as they are 10x more feminine, look 100x better and behave how a woman is supposed to.
Anyway, love your blog… sweet stuff here. Cheers and happy holidays!

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tddaygame - 2016-12-29

It's the same here with Ukrainian girls that moved to Warsaw. Totally different species than Ukrainians living in Ukraine.

Notice the patterns and use them to your advantage. Oh, and start filtering: http://blog.tddaygame.com/2016/12/be-picky-filter-girls.html

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Lucas - 2017-11-06

Thanks for this post!

My question is how long do you wait to reply her when she text you/replies to your last text after few days/weeks/months?

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    tddaygame - 2017-11-06

    Treat it as normal text. Tens of minutes or few hours depending on how busy you are. And you should be busy anyways.

    Reply
    Lucas - 2017-11-06

    Thanks for instant reply Tom, you’re the best!

    Another thing which puzzles me is what about situations where you know there will be no possibility to set up a date with her for some time, 2 weeks, a month etc., because you know she’s currently sick, she’ll be out of town etc.? Dou you still ping her every 3-5 days without trying to set up a date, just to keep it alive before there will be possibility to meet?

    Reply
    tddaygame - 2017-11-06

    I’d ping her even more frequently – that’s long game. Every 2-3 days you should share some things from your life or just joke with her. It’s hard but you can bring you two together and if every now and then you spike things up (imply why and how you’ll meet, use sexual innuendos) then you can prepare her for everything that comes on the next date.

    Reply
Lucas - 2017-11-06

Thanks for this post!

My question is how long do you wait to reply her when she text you/replies to your last text after few days/weeks/months?

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