London Daygame Model – Stacking And Vibing
I’m still on the sunny ocean and hopefully not suffering from sea sicknes. As promised I’m about to torture you with scheduled London Daygame Model texts. I won’t be able to reply to the e-mails regularly (and to the comments at all) but I might be able to stay active on Twitter. Last time we’ve successful opened a girl and made her a compliment thus finishing the Open phase.
First 2-3 minutes of the conversation are crucial. Either you’ll get along or you won’t. There are of course number of things that you can do to increase your odds. And there are also about dozen little things that you should’ve done before you even started to run after her. I hope you’ve taken care of your clothes, grooming, smile, posture, etc. That alone along with a structured open will get you some interest and in some cases – genuine attraction. Now you have to charm her, spike the attraction and find out whether you two are compatible. Enter the Stacking & Vibing phases.
I’ve said it many times and I’ll repeat that over and over again. In conversation with any stranger the chat should be about her, you should avoid asking too many questions (or at all) and keep the momentum going by being rather elaborate. Those things will help you get through the first 1-2 minutes where most common reaction is a bit of anxiety mixed with curiosity. Capitalize on that and make a good use of your silver tongue. If you aren’t eloquent yet – don’t despair. In time you’ll have enough experience to recreate on the spot successful conversations you’ve had before. Reading also helps a lot.
If you “don’t have anything to talk about” then think about the qualities you’re looking for in a girl. Find out if she has them. Indirectly, that is. Don’t ask boring questions.
I feel like I’ve been beating around that topic for a very long time but never stated the obvious: the purpose of the Stacking phase is to get you to Vibing. You need to find a successful “stack” which is a silly assumption about the girl that makes her want to correct you or confirm your suspicions. The less serious the topic the better. You don’t want to get to know her yet, you are just probing whether you two are compatible as to your – for the lack of better word – vibes.
That’s also the point where you display your personality. You’ll be judged by your assumptions, jokes and lines. Calibration is hardest right now – you will have a hunch as to who she is but you might as well misjudge and offend her (almost never happens) or scare her (when she’s shy or intimidated but you assumed otherwise). Remember that the main goal is to draw her inside your frame and have an enjoyable, fun conversation while still subcommunicating that you’re there to pick her up.
So you stack, she replies with something, you add more observations about her and either there will be “natural” conversation starting from one given topic or you’ll have to throw in another stack. If you can’t find anything in few tries call that girl uninterested and move to the next one. You don’t want to be guessing things about her for 5 minutes. It’s awkward.
When you’ve got a topic – you know it. She seems excited to talk about this thing, plays along your jokes and/or is receptive. She opens up. Don’t waste that opportunity. When talking to strangers you drill down, not across. That means you’ll go deep into that one topic looking at it from all the different angles. You’re now in the Vibing phase. You’re not looking for any more stacks, you’re looking for connection.
Jumping from topic to topic is the disease of the beginners. And it’s precisely the reason why they “run out of things to say”.
When you’re staying on one topic for a very long time one of two things happens. Most of the time you’ll naturally flow from one topic to another like you would with someone you know. You’re not actively thinking “what to say next” when talking to friends, are you? But sometimes the conversation just dies. Embrace the silence, look her deep in the eyes and let her change the topic or ask a question (thus going into Investment). If that doesn’t happen you can go back to some other thing you were discussing along the way (you were listening to her, right?) or you can use one of your “safety net” topics which are things you look for in girls.
Avoid hairdresser questions, tourist chat or being too friendly. If you could be having the same conversation with a guy you’ve just met in a hostel – quickly spike things up! And even if you think you’re “subcommunicating” sexual intent, usually it’s not the case. So feel free to use sexual innuendos, suggestive words, ambiguous statements. Hell, even pay her another compliment by commenting on her legs or breaking the fourth wall. The latter is especially useful when she asks “why do you even wanted to talk to me?”. If she’s asking – don’t hide your dick. Blatantly say that you liked her and wanted to kidnap her for your harem. Or that you never can help yourself when you see a nice girl. Don’t be boring but make sure she gets the message.
Build upon the attraction that was built with the Open and the Stacks. It’s not uncommon in this phase to talk about absolutely nothing. You’re flirting, enjoy it! You can be talking about her plans of blowing up her office after you’ve accused her of hating her job. If your stack was about her ex-boyfriend stuffed into her travel bag then you can be discussing various ways of disposing the body and getting rid of the traces. I’ve had that conversation many times, girls are disquietingly creative about those things. Whatever you’re talking about – make it about her (what she would do, how is she feeling, what are her plans, etc.).
The main purpose of the Vibing is to find out the compatibility. Are you two getting along? Is there both attraction and chemistry? And finally – if she’s available? Nick Krauser nicely summarized various types of girls you’ll encounter. You’re trying to find out if she’s both interested (in you) and available (to you). Do the Vibing as long as you like, it’s not like she’s going anywhere and the longer she stays the more useful information you get. Sooner or later you’ll both get tired of silliness and will want to really know each other.
You can’t get serious with anyone you don’t like and don’t feel good with. And if you’re already past that – it’s time for Investment and Close. After you’re done with the tough Open and even more difficult Stacking everything else is pure fun. Enjoy.