The Habit Of Daygame
Okay, I admit it. I’ve been reading The Power of Habit lately and it’s a book I can easily recommend to everyone. Because of cognitive bias I also started to see discussions about habit forming all around my Twitter feed. Thus I started to ponder about my own habits and how they developed over time. Surprisingly to no one except me I usually don’t struggle with customs. I just do them relentlessly until they become part of me. That’s why my friends sometimes call me a fucking robot.
Being a dedicated man is a good thing. Becoming obsessed is a straight way to great success… or mental breakdown.
I always suspected that you can train your “habit muscle” (i.e. brain) and I’m so good at it because I’ve been doing it for a very long time. It’s just something inside of me that doesn’t want to quit, doesn’t want to become a loser. I don’t mind all the jokes as I’ve never had any childhood trauma. I was just a nerd, no bullying or heavy struggles. But also I always was dedicated to what I wanted to achieve. I’ve quite quickly learned the difference between instant pleasure and delayed gratification.
When you know you won’t stop whatever you start until you’re done you pick your activities carefully.But how does that knowledge help anyone who isn’t like that? In many, many ways. As I already said you can train your “habit muscle” and can make it stronger so you should never think “I can’t ever be like that”. View it as any other muscle or skill you want to train. It’s not like you’re not going to the gym because you’ll never look like Mr. Olympia. Hell, most people don’t even want to look like one! The same goes for habits – maybe you don’t want to become another robot but you could use some more persistence in working on your goals.
But also bear in mind that if you treat mind like any other muscle then you can fatigue it so the next big effort will break your will. As shown in the Power of Habit test subjects that were subjected to heavy test of will were doing fine… but failed miserably on the consecutive ones. Not only they were less able to persist but also they were tense, edgy, anxious, unpleasant while trying to exercise their will even more. Sounds familiar?
That’s why I alway tell that you have to put yourself in a postion to succeed and avoid any temptations that can get you off track. If you’re trying to form a habit of waking up early then reading books until 3 am isn’t going to help you. Conversely if you’re trying to read more books then just having them handy in places where you have time to read will help (we all thought about the toilet, didn’t we?). It sounds reasonable but far too many people are trying to eat less carbs while stockpiling unhealthy stuff in their fridge.
The one habit that anyone can start with is making one’s bed. That’s so easy to implement and also it helps to have your room cleaned up for the next girl that may come to your place. You do it every morning thus training your habit forming abilities. Next usually is the gym.
It’s the most logical activity to start your self-development journey. Being healthy and fit helps you with everything. You feel better, you think better, you like yourself more, other people ascribe positive qualities just because of how you look, you have more energy, etc. Once again you’re putting yourself in a position to succeed. Plus you exercise your muscles… and your mind. You’re pushing your limits, you’re working on your habit forming that translates to all areas of your life.
Gym is underrated in the daygame community as many people try to sell you the idea that charm and charisma can get you laid. In a way – they do. But the more complete package you try to sell the easier it becomes to attract high quality girls. Girls that have other options and even if they’re fine with a fuck friend relationship they won’t go for a one night stand just for the thrills.
And finally – the daygame. If you’re getting out each day after work it’s so easy to form a sarging routine that gets you few numbers every week. What is weird in time becomes natural and later you can’t imagine doing things differently. Stop, inspect and adapt every once in a while but more often than not if your customs lead to constant amount of action you’re all good.
The best habit that you can form while doing your daygame is if you go out after every single girl that you like. Even if you know that you’re going to fail because she had that bitchy face like the last 30 bitchy girls had – you are reinforcing your habit of approaching girls. And in time you don’t even think. You see the cue – hot girl – imagine the reward (good feeling you get after the approach no matter the outcome) and you act. You approach, chat, get her number.
I’d say habit forming and building systems (not trying to achieve goals) are the two most important theories that helped me understand how I work. Whether it’s appealing to you or not – those theories largely explain how successful people act. Often without thinking. You can imitate them and in time become “that guy” who wakes up at 5 am just to start his morning workout. The only thing I still can’t get any help with is sleeping enough. But I can live with that.