Women Want To Be Led

Girl leading a guy... or another girl.

Of course as guys we can never be sure “what women want”. We can only run our experiments that are way beyond what any scientists can do. We apply what we think is working and verify theories infield dealing with many girls. Most guys that are not into pick up have very specific environment where they meet only certain types of girls. And they don’t really get out there, average number of partners for men is below 10. All sort of PUAs and players are way above that and to get there they’ve dealt with hundreds of women. So while we can never be sure “what girls want” we also have a pretty good idea as to some behaviors.

Women want to be led. Leading is a inherently masculine treat that makes you more attractive (and not only in the eyes of women). The opposite – being undecided and doubtful is a sign of weakness. It’s always better to ooze decisiveness and leadership as in most cases girl will follow. Just that can get you much further and quicker than trying to work out compromise or – yuck – asking her for everything.

That means you should lead and choose both small and big things. Starting from simply stating the time and place to meet (or giving her false choice), dictating the tempo of your dates, change of venues and – thinking bigger – even the type of your relationship. If you’re leading her to become your exclusive girlfriend don’t be surprised when she decides to follow that thought. The same goes for making her your fuck friend – don’t expect her to choose the style of your relationship for you.

Some guys change their minds quite often in regards to all sort of things. Imagine how is that perceived by someone (the girl) looking for a stable leader. She can’t follow you when you yourself don’t know where you’re going. And she will never think of you as a captain of your ship when you can’t even pick up a bottle of wine. You can always defend bad choice. You cannot defend indecisiveness.

Girl leading a guy... or another girl.

Unless she’s just said “let’s go over there and fuck” she shouldn’t be leading like that. And even then…

Occasionally you should make her choose – wine, a movie, make her plan a date, pick up a place for a weekend escape, things like that. Girls consider it fun… when it’s every now and then. It also reminds them that they’d rather let you choose. Generally they’d rather accept (or reject) your ideas. How many girls you know that like planning, doing research and comparison? They are guided by their feelings – when they see something, they react. That’s quite different than coming up with ideas and criticizing them.

Girls aren’t opinionless ragdolls. If they don’t like something – they will tell you. They’d just rather react to choices made by you, not choose by themselves.

Story time. I clearly remember last time when I witnessed one of the most terrible crimes against male-female relations and an instant attraction killer. I was looking for a girl in a popular meeting place in Warsaw when I saw some other chick with her date. She was nervous but excited and you could tell they were meeting for the first time. They kissed each other on the cheeks and the guy uttered the worst possible words you can say at that moment – “where do you want to go?”. You could almost see the switch in her mind flipping from “undecided” to “he’s not getting any today”. She – of course – replied “I don’t know, pick something” and he started to inquire further…

That poor dude was clueless. You invited her, you decide what you’re going to do. She is there along for the ride. She’s not on your organizing committee, she’s not even remotely interested in picking the activity. She’s there to know you and big part of that is what you have to offer in terms of spending time together. Even more important is – are you confident, decided man with a plan. Are you are leading.

There’s another way to look at all this – most of the girls are undecided. They find it hard to make even an insignificant decision like picking up a drink. So pick it for her, even if you have absolutely no idea – make a choice and don’t back down. In bars you can witness girls scanning the menu for hours (which is expected) and the guys doing the same (which is unforgivable). Open the menu, pick the first item that you like, close it and then help her make her choice. Make decisions fast and learn to live with the consequences. It’s better than not making a choice at all or doing it too late.

I’ve heard many times girls saying “I like when a guy has plan for the evening” (worded in various ways). Conversely I’ve lost total of one girl because I’ve decided something without consulting her.

You’ll always find a girl that’s an oddball. Anecdotal evidence isn’t evidence at all. It’s always better to follow the general advice and then calibrate to a particular girl than to assume right away she’s some kind of special. In my history I remember one girl explicitly refusing to meet with me because I haven’t asked her when she wants to see me. I – audience gasping in shock – proposed a date and time. That’s one lead lost out of many hundreds.

Let’s consider that one girl for a brief moment. Imagine that I really did asked her for her input and she liked that and agreed to meet me. What kind of date that would be? One ending in wild sex or a torture where she would try to impose on me her feminist agenda or at the very least be as unfeminine as humanly possible. Why I assume that? If she made such a fuss of a mere act of proposing a date instead of asking her I can only assume she’s unlike the others. In other words – she’s nuts. That’s another correlation you draw from dating hundreds of girls. You can spot crazy one much faster.

When you start there are no types of girls – you assume every one behaves the same way. In time you learn types of girls.

I could give many more stories to support “leading theory” but there’s no need to do that. Next time you’re out with a girl change one thing – lead. Never hesitate on anything, make decisions for her. And watch what happens.


Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

Click Here to Leave a Comment Below 2 comments
KubaM - 2016-10-16

Thanks, now I know where I have to be more decisive – picking up a drink 🙂 I knew something was wrong when last time I spent too much time on it, and even didn't help girl much with it..

Good article.

tddaygame - 2016-10-16

Thanks! If you can't pick a drink then it could be a symptom of your general indecisiveness. Start to notice when you hesitate in your everyday life: picking up a route, ordering food, choosing clothes, making decisions at work, etc. Eradicate that behavior.


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