What To Expect When You’re Daygaming?
Recently there’s been much noise made by various people about ridiculous claims made by some PUAs. I’m not on a mission to clean the world of liars. There will always be scammers and frauds. What I’m worried about is that the beginners are given a distorted view of reality. Suddenly they expect miracles because they’ve believed some guy on the Internet. So here’s another guy on the Internet telling you how to spot outrageous claims.
1. Factor in that humans are unpredictable
“Always”, “never”, “every girl”, “all women” and other similar expressions shouldn’t be taken seriously. There are endless possibilities for human behavior in any given situation. Of course we also tend to be lazy and very often we use our default set of reactions. But because there are clear and visible patterns (we’re using them in our day to day daygame) it doesn’t mean every single human behaves the same way. What’s statistically true means absolutely nothing in any given set.
When you’re in a interaction with another human being you’re with a unique specimen. Of course you can expect her to behave similarly to what you’ve been experiencing but there will be variations. If you open with “do you want to go to bed with me?” you can expect that 99999 out of 100000 girls will say “no”. What we’re really doing with daygame is we learn which things usually work and which don’t. We do more of the former and avoid the latter. But you can’t say something works “always”.
People using those quantifiers either are exaggerating or are inexperienced. There is no limit to what can happen.
I’ve had a friend that was gaming for a while. Younger than me and in my opinion much more handsome. He claimed that he never experienced LMR (last minute resistance just before sex). He just couldn’t imagine how you can have girl back at your place and not sleep with her. He thought I was joking when I said that I’ve had naked girls at my place or women that slept over and I didn’t fuck them. He though I wasn’t trying. This was almost two years ago and it stuck in my head for a while. Was I really that bad? Was he really that smooth?
Truth is usually somewhere in the middle. Yes, none of the girls he gamed gave him LMR or any sort of hard resistance once they were at his place. But there were a lot of girls that he couldn’t bounce back. And how many he did successfully seduced at that point? Seven. Don’t get me wrong – it’s a feat nonetheless but it isn’t enough to draw any conclusions. The reality hit him hard – next few girls that he bounced back gave him nuclear LMR and he never slept with them. And thus his streak has ended.
2. You can’t get every girl
That’s a particularly dangerous variant of the above. No, you can’t get every girl. You can’t even get most girls. The other name of the game is rejection.
There are girls in relationships and even though some of those are willing to cheat many are quite happy. And you can’t do anything with a girl in a happy relationship. Those looking for an upgrade (hypergamy) or a fling exist and there are more of them than you think. But still many girls are faithful (to a degree, see below).
There are girls that are not interested in meeting anyone. Maybe she’s had a bad breakup. Maybe she can’t even think about dating – problems with health, work, family, etc. Maybe she’s moving soon and isn’t interested in just casual sex. There are many reasons why some girls are currently outside the dating pool.
There are girls that are not interested in you. And this is probably the biggest category. Some of the girls described above would love to fuck the brains out of a man of their dreams regardless of everything. Sadly, you’re not even close. It’s just your phenotype, your looks, your style, the way you move and talk. You’re not “that guy”.
And it’s not only who you are but how you’re being seen by this particular girl. If you’re selling casual sex and she sees you as a boyfriend material you’ll miss your mark. If you’re presenting yourself as an adrenaline junkie and she right now looks for a boring bookworm you’ll go nowhere. There are countless reasons why you two won’t hit off. Only by learning how to calibrate to a particular type of girl (those patterns again!) you can convince some that you’re the guy that makes them wet. But again – not all of them.
If there’s been a spark and the girl isn’t rejecting you hard then given enough time together you can grow on her. But that requires a lot of work and time which you almost never have in the daygame context. It’s different in your social circle when with repeated and calibrated advances you can slowly seduce her. But again – not every single woman will be susceptible to that.
3. Casual sex requires a lot of work
So you thought you’ll go out, get a number to the girl of your dreams, set up a date for the same evening and have sex with her on that very day? The reality will hit you hard. I’d say it’s far easier to get a girlfriend out of your social circle. Many studies show that amount of time spent together raises the probability of developing feelings for each other. The problem is you can choose who you hang out with only to a degree. That’s why I daygame: I want a girl that I really like, not “best girl from those that happen to be around me”. I don’t expect hot girls to just randomly appear in my life as it’s not designed around that. But I always can go out and approach a girl I’m fond of.
Some see daygame as an assembly line or a factory, others describe it as funnel. Regardless of the actual name here is how it usually goes: you go out, approach a lot of girls, get few numbers, some of the numbers end up dead, you get couple of girls for a first date, you never hear again from some, you set up next dates, you finally sleep with one. Or two. Or three. The point is you lose girls at every stage. As for the actual ratios – you never should compare yourself with anyone. Everything depends on the SMV of the girls in relation to yours (lower/higher/roughly the same), how fast you want to get them in bed, how patient you are, how are your logistics and many more.
There are always people out there that are more successful. You’re competing directly only with your past self. Know what is possible but don’t compare yourself with guys who spent years doing what you’ve just started.
For the sake of argument – you should get a number from 20% to 33% of girls you approach. Out of those you will date another 20-33%. How many you will close? That depends on how long you can wait. Roughly one fourth to one third of the lays happen on the first date. 50% will sleep with you no later than on third date. Hence date-to-lay ratio can be all over the place from mere 15% to solid 40%.
To put it in real numbers: you need from around 170 approaches per lay (worst case scenario, probably a beginner) to a stunning and unsustainable 25 approaches per lay. I’ve never heard of anyone having that sort of results in the long term. Most guys experienced in the London Daygame Model are around 40-70 approaches per lay.
And then you’ll hear about some guy claiming 30 lays in 60 days… Sheer logistics of that feat is impossible to imagine. Best case scenario (which never happens) this means around 75 dates and I’d assume something in the line of 700 approaches if he’s amongst the best. Approach 11-12 girls and go on at least two dates every single day? Even if you don’t have any life besides dating the sheer amount of work would quickly take its toll. Try doing more than 10 approaches every day for two weeks straight and you’ll see what I’m talking about.
There are exaggerations and there are blatant lies. If an overweight guy drinking beer every day claims he can run a marathon under 2 hours 30 minutes would you believe him? Hell, even if he’d be fit – that’s a result for a professional. It should be easy to prove. His times from other runs should be everywhere. He could just show up for a though training and demonstrate his skill and pace. He would have back up from trainers, friends and fellow runners. So don’t believe some random guys on the Internet just claiming what should be proved.
4. Nothing is like on the TV (or YouTube)
Every great infield you see and every interaction posted somewhere on the Internet is carefully picked from tens or hundreds of shitty ones. You can learn from those how a perfect approach should look like and see what you can do better. But don’t expect that your every interaction will end up winning Seduction of the Year award. When you deliver your opener all the plans and models are thrown out of the window. There’s only you and the girl. Sometimes it’s messy, sometimes it’s awkward. Most of the time it will be fun.
Sadly there are many fake infields out there that spawns unrealistic expectations. Those guilty range from guys just doing it for fun and Internet fame (e.g. VitalyzdTv) to those just scamming others to buy their “products”. And guys being drawn to pickup community are sometimes too desperate. They want a silver bullet and are willing to pay a lot of money to get it. But it doesn’t exist. I can relate to a guy not being able to get a girl. But the solution, sadly, is hard work.
The best way to verify any theory is to test it on yourself. Go out and try it for a while then compare with your past results.
Learning by yourself is doable, there are plenty of free materials. I’ve learned how to daygame that way. It’s very exhausting, takes a lot of time and also requires ruthless dedication. So it’s understandable that you want to pay someone to make it faster. But pick your coaches wisely. Never trust someone who won’t demo for you, let you listen to him and won’t listen to what you’re saying to the girls. Keen daygamers are seen doing a lot of approaches, regardless of their level. If you’re living in the same city and never saw him daygaming – it’s a red flag. If you can’t find anyone who used his services – it’s a red flag. If there isn’t anyone who gamed with him and can confirm his skills – it’s suspicious at least.
If someone is doing a lot of daygame and is recording it there shouldn’t be a problem with posting an entire interaction back to back. Beeping personal details isn’t a lot of work. Heavy editing, muting crucial lines, too-good-to-be-true reactions, rehearsed lines, video alteration isn’t the way to go. And even if the infield seems solid then you’re not guaranteed you’re seeing the real thing. It still could be staged. Only way to verify is to see the guy in action. Put on a wireless microphone and throw him on a few girls. Even rejections will tell you a lot.
So if you’re a new to all this daygame you should approach with caution every single guy on the Internet. Demand proof. Demand live demos. Talk to people who know him. Talk to him to see what kind of guy he is. Don’t believe outrageous claims. But most important of all – go out, approach and see what’s possible. You won’t start as good but if you’re smart you’ll quickly realize what’s probable and what’s just a lie.