The Daygame Burnout

A burning house. And a car.

Every daygamer has his ups and downs. You want to thrive when you’re in the zone and keep your weak moments short and painless. Because sooner or later you’ll get them. Some guys quit when they first encounter it, others push trough. If you’ve built your daygame system right it should provide you with constant opportunities. If you’re not there yet – let’s hope you’re dedicated, ruthless and… smart. Smart to actually avoid burning out.

Big warning for beginners: if you’re still learning daygame and fighting the approach anxiety you should be doing at least one set every day. Not to get laid but to desensitize yourself. However, if you’re able to approach girls on a whim you’ve not only earned the right to take time off but you will also need it.

It always goes the same way: first you lose some girls due to last minute resistance or bad luck. It happens, you carry on as normal and then suddenly you realize you’re not dating as much as you used to. Then you check your stats and you see that you’re just getting dead numbers. Then – maybe – some girls won’t even stop for you on the streets. Conversations are shorter. Something is off.

There are two types of burnout – acute and chronic. Acute is easy to diagnose and cure as going hardcore always results in one. In Kiev I could approach 40+ girls in two days and then just only few on the third day. I’ve spent the rest of both trips in a tourist mode going on dates in the afternoons and evenings. No more approaching.

When you’re daygaming abroad first few days should be 100% about approaching girls. You can do sightseeing later.

The same short term burnout happens when you exceed the number of shitty sets you can endure. You start to think “this isn’t for me” or “this doesn’t work”. It helps when you have a good record. If you can just look back at your success stories and realize that the setback is just temporary you’ll be fine. Even though understanding that can make you feel better it won’t change a thing as for your results.

Real cure comes from getting a break from daygame. In the past I suggested going slow (do less sets) but I found that it doesn’t work for most people. So – a vacation is in order! How long should you regenerate? For me just few days focusing on other stuff in my life is enough. A solid week works even better but I’m usually back on the streets faster than that. Start with a week and then adjust your break as needed.

A burning house. And a car.

Pushing hard despite not getting any results and not changing anything can result in self-combustion.

Chronic burnout has many faces. That’s why you should always assume that a break is in order. More often than not it’ll help. If in time you’ll get more frequent (or longer) burnouts then the problem lies elsewhere and something needs to be fixed. We’re constantly changing, adjusting and fine tuning our game. It’s inevitable that we’ll make some mistakes along the way. Unfortunately there is no “undo” button.
You can’t just go back to the way you’ve been when everything worked. It’s a one way street – you can’t become less r-selected, less confident, less sexual. You try this and fail because your old ways no longer fit your current self and the girls see through that. The only way is forward. And this is good.

The same goes for dialing back on the quality of girls you’re interested in. Once you’ve slept with tens of different girls you develop hard standards. And you just can’t put up with the girls you’ve previously slept with just for a new notch. You’ve seen how feminine and devoted some of them can be, how a girl that really fancies you behave and you’ll settle for no less. Obviously it also applies to beauty – you won’t be turned on by girls you were happy with few years back. And this is also good.

So if going back isn’t an option and going forward is at that moment too hard how should you fight your chronic burnout? Go back to the basics. First and foremost – inspect your life. Are there any unfinished businesses? Do you have things that should’ve been done by now but you’re procrastinating? Now is the time to deal with them.

Then take a close and honest look at your daygame (or have someone do this for you). After a while we all go off the model which is great as we don’t want to be robots. But sometimes we develop ways that are hurting our results. The story you’ve thought was great is boring. The new masculine you is too off putting or you’ve suddenly started to dress differently without changing your vibe therefore appearing fake. Even little things can matter.

That doesn’t mean you should (or can) go back to your old ways. Everyone’s game evolves to be more “natural”. That means you’re becoming less canned lines, more you. However in that process you sometimes get rid of the essential things – maybe you forgot to smile, use laser eyes, state your intent? Compare your way with the model because the model is what works.

Whenever you’re changing something – keep the things that work, revert all failed experiments. Double check that you don’t miss any basics.

It’s fairly easy to say – rest, check the basic stuff, consult your wings when in doubt. It might be hard on you mentally but if you’re dedicated you’ll push through and come out stronger. Because forward is the only way. There is no going back.


Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

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Stream - 2017-09-08

Thanks for writing this up man. Needed to read someone else express these thoughts.


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