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Field Report – Not So Fast

Two pints of some japanese beeer.

Finally, after a streak of summer weekends that were too hot, terrible LMRs and girls not sure what the hell they want from me I’m back on track. As I always say – you cannot be on top forever, there are going to be ups and downs. Whether it’s your daygame, your training at the gym or your life in general.

Let’s focus on the girl. The open was sort of ok. She was smiling but she also was too reserved and mysterious. That was the theme for this conversation: sparkling eyes, cute smile but minimum verbal investment. Oh, and absolutely phenomenal tight body.

After she said she likes to be mysterious and that she has to go she finally hooked albeit weakly. Persistence and a little bit of DHV were pushing things forward but they didn’t change her attitude. She played along jokes and banters but still was far too passive. I took her number after few minutes and noted “flake”. I thought this was going nowhere.

First WhatsApp conversation was quite long, she once again acknowledged the oddity of our conversation. She also played hard to get saying something about busy schedule. But we all know if a girl wants to meet you – she’ll find time. She won’t cancel prior meetings (you’re not that important) but she’ll somehow manage to meet you. We’ve initially agreed on a date yet to be confirmed by both of us. I genuinely forgot about her and set up another meeting with a much more promising girl. Thus, on the day of the date I flaked on her.

Flake. Double book dates, flake preemptively, cancel dates for no reason. Be unpredictable.

It took her hour and a half from me cancelling the date to her proposing that we meet the next day. Weak number just got stronger. Now she was chasing me which was really unexpected given such low level of investment. I wasn’t complaining though, of course I agreed to her proposition.

Two pints of some japanese beeer.

Going for a different kind beer is always a great date idea. I prefer Belgian, though.

During date nothing suggested what was going to happen. In the first venue I thought I was back in Kiev dating a Russian girl. Not all of the Russians are the same but most of them wear emotionless masks and expect you to drive the entire conversation. When you ask them something the answer is short and they never elaborate. When they ask a question it’s usually a yes/no one. It’s a pain in the ass and you really cannot give a flying fuck to survive that kind of treatment. I don’t have my Russian flag yet because I haven’t figured them out. Yet.
However, I knew the drill. After first 10 minutes I fully expected this to be a terrible date to nowhere. In a way we’ve continued of our street interaction – weak signs of interest, short sentences and no intention to push the conversation forward. And of course cute smile and great body. She was somewhat interested in my lifestyle and even more so in my travels. I’ve got even one “I hate you” because of those which I considered a good sign.

I didn’t learn much about her save for her hobby. She was tiny bit embarrassed about it, don’t know why. We’ve spend almost an hour in the first venue drinking one beer each as she was also a slow drinker (despite me hasting her or suggesting to leave it there). I even excused myself to the bathroom where looking into mirror I asked “what should I do? where are we in the model?”. But there was no other way but to go forward and try to spike things up.

I’ve decided to risk the second venue – a drink bar. On our way there I’ve tried to sexualize the conversation and introduced some kino which surprisingly worked good. So that was my main goal now – raise the temperature of the meeting despite the lack of rapport. I can’t make her talk more about herself so let’s stick to drinks and increasing the sexual tension.

We were on a couch in a drink bar and despite following an escalation ladder first kiss attempt took her by surprise. But she really enjoyed the second one and didn’t want to stop (persistence and non-reactiveness!).

Back to the talking – I suggested having another round elsewhere. It was the time to bounce back. She went to bathroom and in the meantime I paid and ordered an Uber. When we walked outside the mood was as different from the first venue as it could be. She was smiling, open and excited. Like she’d forgotten to be mysterious and indifferent and finally started to be herself.

Another surprise was that she didn’t make a single comment on the Uber or the fact that we were riding in an unknown direction. She said nothing when we came to my place too. Like she was fully expecting this. That could mean that either she already decided to have sex that night or that she can control herself and she fully believed that nothing is going to happen. Only time could tell that.

Back in my place I’ve poured us another round, we’ve listened to some music and fooled with drums. Then I moved us to the bedroom and after a while that was far too long we’ve ended up on bed. Still, we haven’t got far. We were in our clothes making out when she decided that she has to go. No problem, I walked her to a cab to the tune of her phone ringing relentlessly.

On the next day we had a lengthy conversation. She just had to explain herself. Apparently she’s in a very unhappy relationship, her boyfriend doesn’t care about her hobbies nor her travels up to the point where she goes on vacation with her sister. I can’t say I was expecting this but it’s no surprise. My frame was “it happens, it’s life” and I was very cautious as not to judge her. That, along with my genuine interest in her, got me the second date.

A frying pan.

“I cook, you bring wine” date idea is second only to “Netflix and chill”.

And what a date it was! She’s agreed to meet me for a dinner but as it turned out there were some problems with her sneaking out. She herself suggested that she can pretend to go home a day early but then she would have to sleep over at my place which is “weird” (For who? Not for me!). We’ve had to move a date by one day to avoid additional problems with logistic (read: boyfriend). Other than that it looked like a solid lay.

Girls in unhappy relationships usually crave interest for one or more of her activities. Provide that and you’re halfway there.

We’ve met without problems. I cooked a nice dinner, she brought a bottle of wine. Once again she was on the defensive side, quite unsure about all this but still curious to find out what’s going to happen next. We’ve spent some time watching music videos during which she rejected my kiss attempt. So it wasn’t going to be smooth after all. We’ve went to the bedroom for the ultimate chick-crack: videos from my travels. There is only one chair there so she sat on my lap, we’ve started to kiss and this time sooner than later we’ve ended up in bed.

It was a rollercoaster. Every time we’ve went further she pulled the brakes hard. After quite a few attempts we’ve ended up without shirts. With that tempo it would take me the whole night which meant something was off. Once again in that story I went to the bathroom to think about the missing ingredient. It was still comfort. I suspected she felt guilty.

Hence more cuddling and talking for a while. Especially about how “it’s weird how soon this started to feel good”. She finally opened up with a long monologue painting her as generally unhappy with her boyfriend being the main culprit. Then she said she was surprised that I still wanted to see her after learning about him and that I probably just want sex. She’s a nice girl and I don’t lie – of course I wanted sex but it’s not the one night stands I’m after and I genuinely felt good in her company.

When she says she’s worried about how fast she’s going to bed with you she’s really looking for excuses. Provide them and she’ll do the rationalization all by herself.

Saying few things about our connection, that “it shouldn’t be that fast” or “it’s like we’ve known each other for much longer” and making future projections (the things we can do together other than sex), showing that this isn’t about just getting a notch – they work when comfort is an issue. There are some girls that don’t need any of that but she did.

And it helped. She decided to do this with only token resistance. It was still push/pull all the way where each piece of clothing seemed like another level in some bizarre game. Thankfully, when she was down to her panties all the resistance was gone and the excitement took over. It was expected, exciting and wild. We went for seconds before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

I can see how some guys could’ve got the sex much earlier by being more firm and breaking her barriers instead of dismantling them. I strongly advise against this. She should want you no matter what. She shouldn’t just accept what’s happening. It’s better for both of you and your future hookups. Yes, I’m really not into one night stands.

In the morning it was even more of that “new couple” feel – we’ve woke up in the best possible way and then went for our morning routines. No awkwardness, no regrets. Just two people that really are into each other. And for that feeling I do daygame.

tddaygame
 

Daygamer, traveler, adrenaline junkie. Obssessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

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daysofgame - 2016-10-02

>> Another surprise was that she didn’t make a single comment on the Uber or the fact that we were riding in an unknown direction. She said nothing when we came to my place too. Like she was fully expecting this. That could mean that either she already decided to have sex that night or that she can control herself and she fully believed that nothing is going to happen. Only time could tell that.

Wow. This is interesting to me. (I've never tried to get a girl back to my house without telling her that's where we were going.)

My current frame is that girls have been thru all this before… with players. Some player or another has done this, and she had a good experience. So while I might think this is fast, or that I'm getting away w/ something, this kind of thing is already a part of her reality.

More and more, I assume the girl has more experience than me. Even though I'm getting more and more experience myself, and I have more experience than most men, even though she might be 1/2 my age… when I assume she is more experienced, but expects me to lead, I think I'm on track.

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