Dangerous Tonight – The Story Of Every First Date Lay

I was thinking lately about the dating process, especially about first date lays. In retrospective most of them look very similar and I think I’ve stumbled upon a song that describes them accurately. Listen to “Dangerous Tonight” by Alice Cooper (Hey Stoopid, 1991) and let’s make our way through it. If any of this doesn’t sound familiar or you can’t even image that scenario then there’s still much for you to learn.

I imagine song starts somewhere in the second venue (using the standard venue model). In the first one you’ve got to know each other just a little bit, you’ve drank a drink and are both enjoying the evening. There is some tension, she already asked “why did you approach me?” question to which you answered in line of “to be honest, I really liked your ass”.

Now you’re changing venue to a dimly lit, quiet bar and preferably you land on some couch. That serves two goals: she’ll think she knows you longer (“we’ve been here and there”) and also we literally leave behind any boring chit-chat that might have happened back there. We’re in a different mood right now. There’s adventure but there’s also implied danger and sexuality.

Take another bite
It’ll be alright
What’s wrong will soon feel right
Dangerous tonight

She knows she shouldn’t be doing all this. Maybe she has a boyfriend. Maybe up to this point she never thought of sleeping with a guy after few hours of meeting him. Don’t be judgmental in any way. If she says something about her past experiences you can show interest but even for a slightest bit don’t express opinions. Whatever she did is neither good nor bad – it’s just human. Getting too positive about being open sexually can be creepy too. You want to be indifferent so she’ll realize on her own that she’s doing nothing wrong. Women can rationalize backwards pretty much everything.

Of course now the topics are chosen carefully. You talk more about male-female polarity, sexual experiences or fantasies, relationships. Don’t talk only about sex as most of us went that route at least once and failed miserably. But at this point rapport should be treated as a push – to occasionally tone down the sexuality, to change the topic when you’re going too far, to give her time to make wrong feel right.

Take another sip
Let it kiss your lips
And let a little drip on your thighs

You’re having another round of drinks at the second venue, that goes without question. But I’ll use this couple verses to talk about kino. There are two main routes for that. Smooth escalation ladder is the most popular – you start to touch e.g. her jewelry (some do that in the first venue), then you work your way through hands, hair, neck… Other way is to skip all that, let the tension grow and then just go for the kiss when the conversation dies and you’re staring into each other’s eyes with trembling hearts.

Of course you kiss her. Whenever “should I already kiss her?” thought crosses your mind that means the moment was already gone a while ago. Do it. If she rejects your kiss – playfully ignore it and continue. Strike again later. If you’ve calibrated well then she should kiss you back the first time. If not – the second. You can kiss her after few more tries but it’s not the scenario we’re in today.

If you let me I’ll untie your sensuality
I’ll open up your heart and satisfy my greed

Her heart, your greed. Her feelings, your desire. You have different goals in all this. You’ve already made clear what you want and she should already developed feelings both for you and for this whole adventure. She wants something to happen that night even if just a while ago mere thought of it was wrong.

Thankfully your nonjudgmental stance, smooth escalation, the kiss and switching back and forth between being sexual and leaning back untied her sensuality. Now she wants you and doesn’t feel guilty about it. It’s time to bounce back to your place.

Take another turn
The rules have all been burned
And you’ve got tricks to learn
Dangerous tonight

I skipped the chorus and also the way home and making her feel comfortable at your place. But it is only a temporary chill, you have to bring back the dangerous and exciting atmosphere. You’re back to kissing, already are in your bedroom, there is music playing, the lights are dimmed.

"Trash" by Alice Cooper

He know’s what he’s singing about. “I’m Your Gun” wasn’t even subtle.

At one point it will all become about push/pull. Of course you want to go to bed with her, so you have to lead. Make her moan, then back off. Two steps forward, one step back. Take turns so not even once she’ll think you’re more into her than she’s into you. When you’re fooling around on the bed let her sit on top of you only to spank her, throw her off and then pin her to bed with your body.
Make sure you know more tricks than her. Specifically learn all the LMR routines that are usually employed by women in those situations. You don’t want to be surprised as it means losing the game. Be calm, do your thing, make a move and then back off. If this goes for too long push more than pull – get yourself a drink, go and search for music on YouTube or even get her a cab. She can’t see you as a horny teenager focused on getting laid. Be dangerous, it’s a scary adventure for her but she loves being thrilled.

Play another role
Try and lose control
And stain your soul to red from white
In my mind, oh, a million voices tell me no
It’s prime crime time and I gotta let it go

You usually get one shot at closing the deal. There will be many playful attempts but there is always that big one where she loses control and you get a new lay or she comes back to senses and it’s a hard “no”. Sometimes it happens when you slide your hand down her panties or when you start to undress or (that happened to me recently) when you’re already naked and you grab a condom.

It’s like there is a switch that can be flipped from that weird place between “on” and “off” into one position. If it’s off – sorry, not today. Maybe you can still save this by being a gentleman, not making a fuss about it, walking her to a taxi and then texting the following day. If it’s on – it’s on. Clothes disappear and there are just two sweaty bodies having hot steamy sex.

Sometimes it’s not as poetic as girl just quietly decides in her mind that she’s going to do this. For example she can ask for a towel because she wants to take a shower before having sex. That happens but don’t worry – if she’s decided to fuck you, she will. There is no going back at this point. Switch has been flipped, her forebrain lost control.

I’m dangerous like a broken glass
I’m a blood bubonic psychopath
I can cause you pain and make it last
Dangerous tonight

Make an impact. I won’t write much about sex but it’s far better to rock her world than have boring duty sex (or come prematurely). Some guys recommend just doing whatever you desire and don’t care about the girl but I like to see the girls more than once. Hence – fuck her good, rest, make her come and then when you’re able to last long – go mental, do whatever the hell you want. At this point if she already came and you went rough – she’ll come for more.

And that’s the goal.


Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

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