The Dreadful Friendzone

Girl and a guy in her friendzone on a bench.

Some people will argue about the supposed benefits of being friends with a lot of hot chicks. They’ll literally say it’s okay to friendzone yourself to get access to their hot friends. Like they won’t ever come out of their golden cages to run some errands or do crazy shopping. Oh, they do that? Great, so then you can daygame them, you don’t need any help with that.

You don’t learn the skillset required to seduce hot girls in order to rely on goodwill of their friends. You can meet them on your own terms and you don’t need to run so called social circle game. That being said “social circle game” is of course real. If you have a lot of friends and they have lot of friends – that’s a huge group where you can game.

I have one friend that’s working in the fashion industry. Yes, there are some situations where keeping a lot of hot girls as friends can be beneficial. But since you’re reading this I assume it’s not yours case. Neither it’s mine.

Problem with social circle is that sooner or later everyone knows everything. And if you get the reputation of a womanizer the stream of new girls can dry pretty quickly. If only there was a way to meet a girl outside your group so she won’t feel judged when she just wants to sleep with you fast…

To give you the complete picture I have to admit that “bad” reputation can work both ways. One of my friends is recommended to chicks even by his exes. But he’s still relying on others to pick a girl for him. He bangs them because they are good looking and easy (thanks to social proof). Not because they are exactly his type like the girls from daygame where you are choosing them.

There are worse things than friendzoning yourself in order to get access to hot girls. One of the worst is trying to get into pants of a hot chick by becoming her close friend first.

What about friendzone? When a guy that is “just a friend” admits his feeling towards a girl she’ll either feel disgusted or outraged. There will be no romantic moment like in some stupid movie. She’ll think “what a loser who didn’t even had balls to admit that he had liked me!” or “that lying shithead pretended to be my friend just to sleep with me; and I thought he was different!”.

If one of your friends ever mention that he has intention of befriending a chick ask him two questions: “would you rather spend an evening with girl who is your friend or girl who is your lover?” (we all know the answer), “is the girl you’re trying to befriend a hot one?” (if no – then why the hell is he bothered with her? if yes – he’s a liar and he’s looking for a way to get into her pants).

Given all the drama that sooner or later comes with any girl it’s unwise to spend time with them in a non-romantic way. Anything that can be done with a girl-who-is-your-friend can be done with a male friend. And usually you’ll have better time with guy(s).

Yes I know that your friend has a friend that has super cool female friend who is into shooting, dirt bikes and heavy metal. I’m talking about general rules, not exceptions. And as a rule – guys makes much better friends and spend time in more exciting ways than girls.

Girl and a guy in her friendzone on a bench.

“And third time this month some guy fucked me after a party and never called… It’s so great you’re not that type of guy!”

A guy that I’ve recently been talking to admitted to me (and for the first time ever to himself) that he befriends girls all the time looking for a way to “become their boyfriend“. There’s so much wrong with that mindset: from thinking about relationship before even having sex to being a sneaky lying bastard.
Sex first and then (maybe) a relationship. That’s the rule and that’s how you keep the upper hand in a male-female situation. Man pursue sex, women – relationships. By giving the girl a relationship without sex she has everything she needs (attention, validation, feelings, dates, etc.) and she doesn’t even have to sleep with you! If she’d considered you hot then you’d already be banging each other brains out. If that’s not happening in a “relationship” she’s just using you.

“Being her friend” also means hiding your dick. If you want a girl – you have to be ready for a rejection. You cannot pretend to be her friend in order to never feel that cold sting. It’s better to be honest from the very beginning. Either you’ll get rejected and you won’t waste your time on her or you’ll succeed and you’ll get what you want. Win-win.

There’s no way you can transition from “friend” to “lover”. If you ever find yourself in that damned friendzone – stop seeing the girl, cut her off. If she asks what’s happened just openly admit that “you stopped seeing her as just a friend and you shouldn’t be near each other anymore, it doesn’t work”. Don’t explain any further. Only by removing yourself from the picture you can give her time to develop her own feelings towards you and then maybe, just maybe she’ll reach out to you.

But that probably won’t ever happen. So keep on approaching new girls and avoid that damned friendzone by being clear as to your intentions in a subtle yet explicit way (which will be discussed here soon).


Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

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