Attraction Basics: Clothes And Style
“Attraction Basics” series is based on things we all need to fix before we hit the streets. There’s no excuse not to. And your clothes are probably good enough if you’ve put any thought into them. Sadly, many guys just don’t think at all before they put anything on them.
I’m not into fashion as a hobby. However every now and then girls noticed that I dress good. Not great, no one will stop me on the street to compliment my choices but then definitely no one will slap their foreheads when they see me. I’ve made over my wardrobe at least few times in the last two years so I won’t give you advice like “wear this” or “wear that”. I’ll however point out few things that many guys are doing wrong and finish with few styles that are good starting points.
Disclaimer: everyone’s different. Find your own style that expresses yourself. But remember that there are some things that should never be worn and some that you might or might not pull off. If you’re not sure – ask others (friends who dress well, girlfriends or consult a stylist).
Let’s start with the most important thing: you have to have a style. Your style. Don’t just “buy nice clothes”. Have your target image in mind. Imagine yourself arriving to a new city where no one knows you or shooting a music video where you can appear as cool as you’d like. What would you wear? What would be comfortable for you? Leathers? A three piece suit? There should always be a target image even if you’re not exactly there yet.
Also remember that clothes should emphasize your good traits. Don’t think you can hide yourself behind them. Big wooly sweater made by a loving grandma is comfy but it doesn’t look good. M-65 jacket in woodland camouflage won’t help you with your daygame too. The same goes for tracksuit. And those clothes that were cool 10 years ago. And also your favorite t-shirt. And those 5-years old shoes.
It’s more than enough that I had to dig up those clothes…
The most common mistakes that I see over and over again:
– clothes too big for you; number one on my list and without a doubt the most common mistake; clothes should be fitted – buy slim variants of most things (avoid skinny pants though); get used to the feel of material on your skin;
– too informal; rock band t-shirt, jeans and military boots might be comfortable but these are far from best options;
– too formal; if you’re wearing a shirt – unbutton top few buttons and roll up your sleeves; don’t wear a three piece suit (it reeks “provider”);
– bad shoes; it took me far too long to realize that my favorite brand produces the most comfortable but bland footwear; do not wear indistinct sport shoes or trekking shoes, or heavy boots;
– focusing on brands; you will be better focusing on what’s looking and feeling good, clothes are consumables and buying a $100 t-shirt is just stupid;
– backpacks, manbags; just… don’t;
– dirty and/or old clothes; wash them goddamit, clean your shoes, make your mother proud.
Caveat: there are number of guys that can rock a formal suit. Usually they’re professionals that are used to wearing them every single day. If you don’t feel good in a suit – don’t wear them. In my opinion they’re too providerish.
What I’ve found (more like blatantly copied from London daygamers) is that few outfits feel great and seem to do their part of the job. If you have absolutely no concept for yourself then don’t worry – just copy others. In time you’ll buy more things that you like and slowly develop your own personal style. It’s a constant evolution. Today I’ve felt that I have to redo most of the pictures which were taken few weeks ago (I will do a follow up instead).
You don’t have to look hard to find “five differences” between those and the previous set.
As to the starting points that can work and are good bases for later development:
– smart casual – neutral shoes (don’t do dress shoes), jeans/pants, shirt or t-shirt and a jacket; I don’t use that style anymore, it’s not “me”;
– rock and roll look; we’re not talking heavy metal or shock rock – think leather shoes, leather jacket, jeans/pants, some accessories and/or jewelry, t-shirt and/or shirt would be fine;
– basic & bright – I don’t have a smart name but it seems to work nice too; this is my summer look – basically just a t-shirt and pants in bright colors with matched sneakers.
Your options of course aren’t limited to that. Read great article on Rugged, Refined, Rakish on Masculine Style which describes various styles from completely different angles. You can also lean more into the rockish look or maybe borrow something from motorbike guys (e.g. cafe racer style) and of course you can always just wear fitted shirt (roll up your sleeves! don’t button up to the neck!) with matched pants. Fitted and coherent is the absolute minimum of what you should wear. You’d be surprised how far you can get when you just pick your wardrobe consciously. And as to “coherent” let me introduce you to the color wheel.
Color wheel! [fanfare]
So many guys that I know (including me until a while ago) have no idea how to match colours
. You can learn it really fast and it gives you plenty of safe choices. Looking at the color wheel: you can dress in complementary colors (opposite on the color wheel, e.g. blue and orange), triad colors (equidistant from one another; e.g. green, orange and violet), analogous colors (directly adjacent on the color wheel, e.g. orange and red) or different shades of one color (e.g. dark blue pants with light blue t-shirt). Also: whites, blacks and grays can go with anything. Check out the basics of color wheel anywhere on the Internet (e.g. here
Really wise thing to do would be to throw out all your oversized boring clothes and start with something that works. If you’re on a budget buy only complementary clothes – those that always work with each other. When you limit yourself to one pair of shoes and two pairs of pants and then buy only clothes that match those things you’ll never risk mismatching anything. I on the other hand like my trousers orange, blue or red and my shoes brown. That gives me some cool opportunities but not everything will match with all of my wardrobe.
That’s about enough fashion advice for an introductory post. Doing all this should stop you from dressing really bad. The goal is to have wardrobe that at least don’t get in the way of picking up girls and maybe – just maybe – will be the foundation of your own cool style. There’s one more thing that you can do to really make your clothes work for you and that’s accessorize. I heavily underestimated that part of fashion and thanks to hanging out with sharkk I’m having an accelerated course on that. I already see that accessories work in many ways and I’ll write about it soon.
If you’re looking for more fashion articles I can recommend Masculine Style, Well Built Style and Mr Vintage (a Polish one!). They’re a little bit too much focused on formal clothes but I’m sure you will find plenty of good advice in there (including basics: to match your belt to your shoes; how to know if you can wear that shirt outside your trousers; how to dress when it’s hot – that’s a big one!). If you now have a lot of reading and even more of shopping to do then enjoy the process. And remember: fashion is fun.