For long time I’ve been recommending daygaming almost every day for few approaches thus making around 20 approaches per week. I’ve repeatedly said I could sustain those numbers for very long periods of time. There are of course other routes, Tom Torero recommends doing 50 approaches per week in 4 sessions, you can also read somewhere about doing at least 1 approach every day. But consistency is the key, every daygamer will tell you that.
There are times, where unfortunately your vibe starts to crumble, you get sidetracked or boredom raises its head. And then you don’t daygame that much mainly because you just don’t want to or you can clearly see that the results are no longer there (assuming you’re not a beginner). Sounds like an excuse?
To find whether it’s an excuse focus on the reason why you don’t want to approach girls. If you’ve done your share of work by now you know that you’re able to approach any girl you want. So there has to be something off with your state (a.k.a. vibe). Thankfully there’s a handy checklist done by Nick Krauser and you can just quickly go through it to pinpoint all the issues.
There are always ups and downs, you can’t expect to be sucessful all the time. However, if you’re a begginer – push through the downs, don’t rest. You can’t allow yourself to take a break or you just won’t come back.
If you’re just having a bad day or two – it’s fine. But it could be something bigger. And that usually starts with all my leads falling off the radar, then I start to get weak numbers only to finally find out that I’m unable to have a long conversation on the streets or that there are girls that won’t stop for me (usually 9 out of 10 girls stop and have a chat). Bam! No new lay on the horizon.
For me that means the issue is deeper than just a bad day. Was I stressed and not as happy as usual? Yes, I’ve been troubled with some minor issues like not getting enough sleep, spending too much money on shit, losing my driver license for three months and dealing a girl who invested way too much into relationship with me. Plus there are some crazy shenanigans happening at my work. I could easily handle those things separately but together they took their toll.
If there are issues that need your attention and you delay dealing with them “because of the girls” you’re making a bad choice. Life first, girls later. Unless, of course, you’re just starting your daygame adventure.I’ve quickly accepted that I am having a bad time and maybe a little burnout, I decided to devise a plan for fighting it. It’s very simple and so far – very effective. However, what works for me might not work for you. Remember that I’m an introvert who is energized by doing projects alone. If you’re an extravert – swap “alone” things for spending more time with family/friends or partying.
The biggest problem for me was the health issue. I was unable to rest properly, the marathon was coming and it was really bothering me. I didn’t have any solution to that problem but I know for a fact that my daygame is terrible and I’m not feeling horny when I’m tired. Thankfully that went away after one evening filled with alcohol. I’ve even finished the run in 3 hours 4 minutes and some seconds.
Then I’ve done what I could to have a clean slate. I’ve dealt with all the issues one by one. I’ve let the girl go, sold some useless things so I’d feel more responsible with my money, addressed the issues at work and it almost felt good. If there’s an single action (even an inconvinient one) you can do to sort some things out – do it as fast as you can.
During that time I did some daygame, got some numbers but I was feeling stuck. And feeling stuck meant that I had four girls that I’ve been sleeping with regularly and almost zero new prospects. It doesn’t sound tragic but I haven’t had such a situation in almost a year. What’s worse – because of all that I just couldn’t be bothered. I rarely saw a girl that I found attractive and I wasn’t really approaching much.
There’s a great Nick Krauser’s podcast about regeneration in his Womanizer’s Bible series. I’d listened to it once again trying to find a solution to my situation and immediately felt less guilty about having a bad streak. You can’t push, push, push. You take time off the gym to regenerate. After a running race you have to let your body heal. After interacting with that many people, especially if you’re an introvert (like me), you have to take some time for yourself.
For some “time for yourself” will be visiting family, for others – starting a new hobby, some will just play video games for a while. I on the other hand needed accomplishments.
It was time to make myself feel better. And I did that by listing all the things that I had to or wanted to do. I’ve organized my thoughts and responsibilities – things on a list are no longer in your head. Then I tried to do as many things as I could, even if they were little. Cleaned up the house, ordered clothes I had to buy, bought tickets and rented apartments for the upcoming trip, renegotiated my rent, changed my parking arrangement, returned borrowed items – those are very little things but they stack.
|Her too. Well, she’s also waiting for the fucking rain to stop.|
Now I couldn’t do anything with one thing – the lack of my driver license until the end of June. With motorcycle season starting just now it’s a big pain in the ass considering I’ve just changed my bike. I went through all five stages of loss, tried every trick in the book to bypass the issue only to finally accept my fate. To make myself feel better I’ve made huge riding plans for the summer. Making plans tricks your mind into thinking that the thing is going to happen soon.
I exercise a lot but if you’re feeling down I strongly recommend training. I don’t care if you’re tired or sleepy – you can always go for a run or pick up a pair of dumbbells and do your sets. The training is sloppier than usual or you’re not advancing? No problem, you’d feel far worse if you’d skipped it anyway.
Then attack the issue of sleep – get quality sleep and a lot of it. Go easy on the caffeine, maybe even get a drink before bedtime. Being rested should also help you with being horny but if you’re not feeling blood in your dick when you see a nice pair of legs then there’s something off. Have you been watching porn lately? Bad boy! Get those images out of your system. Quit porn for few weeks. It helps with sleeping well too.
There are some guys who can actually benefit from a single porn session. If you’re sure that you won’t be watching it every evening and you feel horny the following morning – by all means use porn as a medicine. But be honest with yourself. If there’s no morning wood, it’s not good for you.
If there’s a hobby you enjoy – focus on it. It was months since I was behind the drumset but I decided to play with the idea. I don’t plan to learn a new song but beat or two – why not? I also took some photos, read some books, learned new things. Like I said – instead of playing an instrument an extrovert would probably benefit from going out and spending time with people and having a laugh.
Did you notice I wrote nothing about chasing skirts or sleeping with regulars? While I still enjoy sex with the girls (“plates”) I’m not actively pushing myself to do as many approaches as I can. Not while I’m still regenerating. I’m unable to let it go completely and I still go out but I’m not forcing myself to do anything. If you can (and – you’ve guessed it – you’re not a beginner) – just take some time off daygame.
It might sound like it’s weeks but to be honest the whole downtime was about two weeks with one week being really fucked up. I’m back in the game now. That is – no longer feeling down, full of energy, getting horny, chasing birds, getting numbers and going on dates. What was the cue that I’m done? Well I just couldn’t help myself but approach few girls in a row.
Don’t despair – act. There’s always something you can do that will advance you to your goals. Even if it’s taking a week off to read a book. If that’s what you need – go for it.