Flake vs. Reschedule
Continuing the Listen to her actions, not her words theme we revisit the topic of flakes. To those who are new to the idea: flake is a situation where a number either goes silent or a girl cancels the date (or don’t show up at all – which hardly ever happens in Poland; our girls have some manners). I’ll be exploring the date cancelation situation.
Recently I saw few guys nexting girls (going silent or even deleting the number) for such petty reasons as a flake. What’s worse half of them couldn’t tell an eager girl trying to reschedule from a real flake. One guy even considered ditching a girl when she wanted to move a date by one hour! Those guys read far too much about “being alpha” and “holding frame” that they can’t see that they’re ridiculous.
You have to remember that not every street approach (or any other for that matter) will sweep her off her feet. You’re not a rockstar, a politician or a crazy rich guy and whatever PUAs are telling you – you’re not her priority. Sometimes, when you hit the genetic match, the girl will be all over you in no time but don’t count on it. Most of the time you’re that handsome, charismatic guy who approached her, had a nice 5-10 minutes chat and “had something in you” that made her interested and attracted. Don’t get me wrong – that is much. It’s more than all her other male friends have and something you can really use to get her but it still isn’t exactly Brad Pitt level.
I hate the “how would she act if Brad Pitt was in your place” exercise. Don’t compare yourself to guys whose SMV is through the roof due to fame, wealth or looks. If you really have to – compare yourself to your friends that are good with girls (“naturals”, PUAs, players).
Let’s walk through the signs when flake isn’t a flake. You can use those attributes as a checklist but after a while you really feel it. In the example below you can see few good things: she apologizes, gives a detailed explanation, proposes an alternative and you can clearly see that she’s sorry. There is a huge chance that it’s not a flake and something really happened. In this case – she’s sick
Now you can see me pushing with my response (I really had a busy Sunday) because I thought that this is what this girl needs. In that case there were some missed calls culminating in a short talk when we agreed to meet on Monday. If you want to meet with her on any other day – just propose yet another alternative. Do not wait for her to list all her free evenings. Remember: girls will rarely arrange dates so her trying to reschedule is quite a lot. If you can’t make it – just pick a different day, don’t count on her.
Second example is a bit different. She sends a text to confirm the date which can be a good sign or harbinger of flake. Then she explains herself without saying sorry but she proposes an alternative. She even sends second text few minutes after the first. I try to push for meeting later and do a little tease calling her workaholic. Everything works as expected: she defends herself and once again act impatient when I don’t reply right away. I “punish” her for flaking with a standard “first round is on you” which she accepts and plays along. Remember to hold on to your threats – make her pay for the first round.
And last but not least, here’s a real flake. Can you spot all the signs?
I’ve heard Poland is different – if a girl want to meet with you she will agree on a date and show up. If she doesn’t like you – she won’t accept the invitation. Save for unexpected events (like her being fucked by another guy in the meantime) girls rarely flake here. But if they do that wherever you live or travel – remember those clear signs that she’s still interested.