Don’t Listen To Girls’ Advice On Pickup
This post could have just the title. And a period. But I want to elaborate a little bit. This train of thought – like many others lately – was started by a recent discussion. Tying nicely into the previous post (Listen to her actions, not her words) I’d like to take further the discrepancy between the ways women behave and explain their behavior.
Girls’ actions are strongly tied to their current emotional state. It’s not based on facts but feelings. They aren’t random in their actions even if it seems so but it’s too hard for us to accurately assess her state. Her worlds’ view and paradigms are tied to how she feels right now. And she doesn’t think it’s lying when the very next day she’s saying something completely opposite.
That means if she was on a party and hooked up with a guy (feeling adventurous and sexual one evening) she can still bash another girl for sleeping around (feeling prudent and responsible the very next day). That was then and this is now. Now she feels different hence the world is different.
That is enough about how girls think and behave. Bigger issue is: girls don’t have any experience in picking up girls.What girls want usually isn’t something they’d be proud of. If you’re really close with a girl you can hear all about her fantasies of being dominated, taken hard and just being your little bitch. But she would never admit that in the open. Especially since “it’s 2016”. And she would ridicule any suggestions that it’s what most girls want even though she knows that is exactly what makes her wet. She always protects the “nice girl” image.
Consider the popularity of “50 Shades of Gray”. Many women read it and they almost universally point out it’s poor writing, implausible plot and unrealistic portrayal of womens’ desires. Yet, suspiciously, they’ve read whole trilogy. They can safely explore their fantasies because no one will label them anyhow for reading a book. Even if it’s a poorly written one.
You can also see that duality by the amount of attention girls pay to well-built assholes vs. nerdy loving guys. But they almost universally claim that the loving guy is what she wants for a partner (read: beta bucks), just not now as she’s “not ready yet” (read: she wants the alpha fucks). “You’ll make a great boyfriend one day” is the greatest insult and lie packed in one sentence. If you’d dare to emulate her “perfect guy” you’d be friendzoned, used and/or doomed.
There are number of arguments that can be used against listening to girls on pickup theories. Let’s bring out the big guns first. No heterosexual girl have ever gamed other heterosexual girl. They haven’t approached one, they never asked one out on a date, they never escalated nor seduced one. We all know that taking action and experiencing failures are the keys to proficiency (“20% theory, 80% action”). So a girl who never done any of this stuff cannot say what works and what’s just rubbish.
But she was gamed many times! Yup, that’s right. And she even slept with some of those guys, maybe even had one night stands. But would she admit what made her do that? Does she even know herself why that jerk with cheeky smile and laser eyes was so damn attractive? She isn’t a guy and she won’t brag about ONSes or SDLs cause those stories can damage her reputation. Her goal is locking down an attractive guy, not just sex. And most guys are fine with “just sex”.
But let’s get back to her being picked up. She experienced all types of advances: creepy guys, assholes commenting on her – well – ass and bad boys who she found attractive. But her whole knowledge is limited to herself being gamed. She might have some (inaccurate) idea of what makes her attracted to a guy but she’s just one girl. If she says the guy must have a beard does that mean anything? Wouldn’t she sleep with a stunning beardless guy? What about her friends? Is that an universal rule or does that apply only to that one particular gal? As guys doing pickup we’re interested in things that works most of the time (general advice).
Unfortunately universal rules aren’t something girl would say in the open. And now we’re back to square one. She’d always present herself as a special snowflake different from all other girls. The only way to actually get some glimpse of truth is to talk with her about her friends. “I know that you’re not into that type of guys but I bet your friends are different…” But why even bother?
She’s just one girl. And maybe she talks with her friends too. Many PUAs and alpha guys gamed thousands of girls and slept with hundreds of them. Isn’t it wiser to listen to those guys?
I really don’t like that analogy but it is floating around: when you’re want to get better in fishing you seek advice from fishermen, not fish.
That’s not to say that girls won’t name creepy behavior creepy or chode – a chode. When it comes to biggest fuck ups they’re right. You can listen to the things that they say are a turn off but you’re goal isn’t to make them dry. And at the same time they usually won’t say what makes their panties wet (or for whom they don’t wear any).
Teaching guys pickup works against their agenda of appearing like a cute little girls who look for a perfect beta boyfriend. That dual mating strategy is the root cause for all that lying – she wants the tingles from an alpha guy and she’s ashamed by that so officially she wants a boring good guy as a partner. Once again we circle back to the topic of listening to their actions, not their words.
Dual mating strategy deserves a post of its own. If someone is interested in more theory concering those things I’d direct you to no one other than Rollo Tomassi. Both his blog and his books are not only informative but also very interesting. And I’ll focus on actionable advice in the upcoming posts.