Crash And Burn Tactic
Yesterday I finally found a good excuse to finish this dusty post. Once again my commitment radar was spot on. As a matter of fact during every approach today I’ve saved myself a lot of time using eponymous tactic. I crashed, burned… and for the second time in January went home without numbers.
All of my advice is to be used by all – both beginners and more experienced guys. This however is an intermediate topic. If you don’t have 500-1000 approaches under your belt – push every interaction to the limit. Don’t quit and don’t deliberately crash the conversation.
There are girls that can waste a lot of your time without you noticing that. You’ll get good – if not great – reactions to your approach. Why wouldn’t you? It’s probably the best thing that happened to them that day or even last few weeks. Yet, your chances of getting them out for a date, let alone scoring, are close to zero. Why? Sad truth is that they’re in happy relationships. Remember that not every girl can be gamed!
But how to recognize those girls? That’s why you absolutely need that many approaches. Because you’d think everything is going your way – the girl is chatty, her eyes are sparkling, she is in great mood, your vibes are matching. She is friendly and yet you can feel something is not right. Like she isn’t committed to the conversation but then again – she’s responding really well. It’s nothing you can easily pinpoint. Is she hiding something? Is she trying to tell you something but she’s too afraid to end this chat?
Once you’re out of the interaction you can clearly see all the signs in the rearview mirror:
- biggest tell of all: the girl is not interested in getting to know you,
- she is asking no questions,
- she is generally unable to maintain strong eye contact for long,
- she is looking away when you hit on her more overtly (future projections, flirting, second compliment),
- when caught in silence she excuses herself even though you can still make her stay using “one more thing before you go…” line.
It’s crucial to learn to catch those tells during the approach. If you’ve done enough sets – trust your gut.
I’m fierce advocate of longer approaches. 5-10 minutes is a solid number to me and anything below 2 is just pure luck. However, for the girls that aren’t committed to the conversation and who you suspect might have a man there is no point in trying to game them for long. Attraction is already done (you cannot notice those signs right away so you had time to do your job), rapport won’t make a difference cause she isn’t looking for a boyfriend replacement. She still might be looking for fast sex. The best thing you can do is to address the issue right away. Crash.
During moment of silence or when she wants to leave or just out of the blue ask her “Ok, what’s his name?” (“Whose?”, “Your boyfriend? Husband?” – credits to Sasha Daygame) or “Admit it – there is something wrong with you! How come you don’t have a boyfriend?!”. Or better yet – just excuse yourself like you always do on high point and say that you have to go but you’d like to meet her another time. If she’s acting weird at that suggestion you can joke in line of “Don’t tell me you have husband and five kids.” (or whatever is consistent with your style and energy).
At that point if she’s indeed in a relationship test how serious this is. “Is he your future husband?”, “Is this anything serious?”, “How long are you together?”. If she laughs it off or struggles with the response, go for the number. If she’s serious or confident, wish her good evening and bolt.
After doing hundreds and hundreds of cold approaches you see the patterns emerge. That particular one wasn’t clear to me for a very long time. Or rather I didn’t want to see it – in my mind I still believed that there’s an angle to those friendly chicks. But the truth is if the girl is in a happy relationship and you’re not someone she’d secretly fancy then there’s almost nothing you can do about that. Steer into the wall and maybe, just maybe, you can get something out of it. At very least – you’ll save some time.