Flake And Date Management

This time – just the tips & tricks on managing your calendar. As a successful daygamer you have a tight schedule so flakes shouldn’t be an issue. There are so many things going on in your life and so many date prospects that sometimes you’re unable to fit them all. Let’s go through few things you can do to sort it all out.

1. Make notes about strength of a close

You should be making notes about each number you get – especially things you were talking about, something about her but also strength of a close. I categorize each one either as “flake”, “50/50” or “solid”. You know when a girl is solid – she was responsive, you’ve talked for 10 minutes or more, you opened after an explicit IOI. 50/50 is either a short but promising talk (glowing eyes, great connection) or a long but dull one (you were not sexual enough or she has a boyfriend or was reluctant to give you her number). Flake is everything else.

If you’re categorizing too many girls as potential flakes or 50/50 you should really work on your game. Nothing beats sweeping the girl off her feet during initial interaction. If she’s already into you everything will be so much smoother.

But do not focus on any particular type of girls (after all girl you thought was a flake can sleep with you the very next day) but when in doubt prioritize the “yes girls”. Usually it just happens naturally as the better the connection the faster the replies to your texts.

2. Embrace delayed response to an invite

That gets us to the second remark. Girls usually reply to the texts at random intervals. But not when it comes to an invite. If you follow my texting model then sooner or later you will see the “delayed confirmation”. Once you pull the trigger and actually invite a girl out by telling her time and place she will very often answer after tens of minutes or even few hours. That’s normal and expected. I won’t even guess if it’s the conscious testing of your frame (“will he write again?”) or is she really considering you as a prospect.

That delay poses a problem when it comes to managing your tight schedule. When you have few not so solid numbers and one evening to spare you need to get all the answers fast and set up the dates. Or do you? Maybe you can do something about it? Like double-book?

3. Double-booking

There are two ways in which you can double-book. Of course you can set up few dates at the same time (and in the same place) but my advice is that you should at least have 30 minutes between them. Girls can be late, you can be late and you still need to cancel the other meeting if the first girl shows up. Double-book that way if you feel that the girls are not that solid. You’ll be surprised how many times all the girls flake – usually your gut is right.

The other way to do this is to set up a chain of dates. You can meet with one girl at 5, another one at 7 and finally with one at 9. You arrange those dates in order from least probable lay cause if sex is going to happen you need to cancel subsequent dates.

In the end it means that sometimes you will have to flake on a girl. Tables have turned. Do not be afraid to do so, do it casually (like the girls do). Text her that something came up and you can’t make it. Do not apologize but inform. If you’re lucky and the girl was already somewhat into you that can make you even more attractive to her.

4. Confirm the date… indirectly

Sometimes you may want to confirm the date – you know that the girls is flakey or you have other girl available or a thing you want to do with your friends. Or maybe you triple-booked and you want to weed out the obvious flakes. Worst idea ever is to text the girl something in line of “are we still meeting today?”. Always assume that she will come. And if you’d set up the date 3-4 days ago then there is no need to confirm anything. Just show up and call her if she’s not there asking how late she’s going to be.

However, if the girl has a history of flakes (or you set up the date earlier than 3-4 days ago) then you can ping the girl a day or two before the date. It should be an usuall ping but if she replies you can tease an interesting topic and then end conversation with something in the line of “I’ll tell you more tomorrow”.

Another trick to make her confirm the date is to move the meeting by half an hour on the day of the date itself. If you agreed to meet at 8 text her “It seems like I’m indispensable today. Let’s meet at 8:30.” or the other way around “Everything is working out perfectly today. Can you make it at 7:30?” That way you indirectly check if she’s up to the date and as a bonus shows that your time is more valuable (she have to adjust to you).

5. Have alternative plans

I’ve already covered that in one of my previous posts: Shrug off the flakes. The key here is to have alternative, exciting plans that you really want to realize. Pursuing your passions or hobbies instead of pursuing pussy. That way you won’t feel down when the flake do happen.

And no – playing games or watching TV doesn’t count as “exciting”.

6. Soft date – party/event time

I haven’t tried that trick yet but I heard about it so many times that I’m going to include it here. Instead of asking a girl out on a date you can invite her to a social event. Like your housewarming party or a Friday’s night at your favorite bar. That’s low pressure – it won’t be sexual enough but at the same time you’ll have massive social proof from your friends.

What’s even more cool: if it’s just a social event then you can invite as many girls as you’d like. Instead of you going after them they will fight against each other for you. It’s an idea worth trying.

7. Girls are unpredictable

Remember that no matter you experience or cuteness of a girl – she still can flake. And as I wrote many times before even the weakest conversation can transform into a hot night. It’s just a matter of probability – eager girls will be the easiest most of the time. But when it comes to women there isn’t such thing as “easy” (or “predictable”). Always use your judgement and social intelligence.


Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

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