Know Your Goal, Focus On Your Goal
I’ve written first draft of this post back in December 2014 in Budapest. During last breakfast there me and Paul have gotten into long talk about mindset and – to put it nicely – fucking more girls. Main theme of that talk was our personal goals. The conclusion: your mind helps you achieve what you’re up to – so quite literally be careful what you wish for.
It’s very easy for a intermediate daygamer to focus on meeting new girls and getting lots of phone numbers. You go out each day with an intention to get some contact details which you do. Then they flake or you get a lousy dates leading nowhere. You rightfully blame your approaches but you don’t get what you did wrong. I guess a lot. On a subconscious level you weren’t seducing the girl. You just were hunting for the numbers. I was a victim of that attitude more than once.
Same thing can happen regarding instant dating or even dating in general. You do this unconsciously thinking “I’ll have three great dates this week” and dates are all you get. When you focus on bouncebacks – you get bouncebacks… and no sex. So the obvious way to sleep with more girls is to focus on sleeping with more girls. Sounds easy, isn’t it?
I’m not necessarily horny every single day as I’m currently seeing few girls. That doesn’t help with focusing on sex during daygame approaches. I have to remind myself “why I’m here”, “what I’d like to do with that girl”. Even simple things like imaging the girl naked in bed with you just before approach seems to help. Dirty thoughts helps. Being horny helps. If you find yourself having no sexual desire – work hard on igniting it. Of course if you’ve spent whole weekend sleeping with different girls it can be hard. In that case just collect the numbers but do this consciously.
Being conscious and present during every approach is really important. Not only for making interesting conversation but also as a way to keep your approach sexual. Think – do you really want to see this girl naked, giving you a blowjob, jumping on your cock? If not then ask yourself – do you want to sleep with her or just get her number as a some kind of useless trophy?
I’m strong proponent of learning daygame sequentially. For beginners it’s completely normal to focus on approaches and numbers. Then on dates. But be aware of what you’re trying to do. Advanced guy going out to “get some numbers” isn’t doomed to fail. But his success ratio will be far lower than when he goes out with “I’d find a girl to sleep with” mindset.
It’s the same about quality of relationships you’re wishing for. My focus on fast lays got me to a point where all the girls I’m seeing now are from few months back. Whereas all the latest conquests were one (or few) night stands. It doesn’t sound scientific but I really think you express your attitude nonverbally in thousand little ways. While it is possible to “fake it till you make it” regarding things like nervousness, confidence or being cocky you just can’t control all your expressions. I must’ve presented myself as a r-selected adventure sex guy and I got exactly that. The things I heard from girls confirm that they know from the very beginning what I’ve been up to.
To conclude this month’s mental masturbation: your attitude and expectations are a big portion of your game. Keep them under control and put some thought into your goals. Focus on and recall them during your daygame adventures. Your mind will help you achieve what you want in many ways.