Shrug Off The Flakes

There was a week that six girls flaked on me. Probably it had something to do with Valentine’s Day and many girls were officially hating men that week. But still only one particular flake bothered me. I’ve had confirmed date and time day before and yet I’ve still got pretty standard “I’m not feeling well today.” text.

Ideally you’d shrug off all flakes but world isn’t ideal. However, there has to be something that will make you feel better about them. And if not better – at least not as bad! Fortunately, these things exists and are called hobbies.

First and foremost you should be working on your value and your interests. That means you are pursuing few goals in your life whether they are getting ripped, learning another language, playing an instrument, reading all those books, making money on forex, writing a novel, learning how to ride a motorbike or whatever it is that you want. You are high value man, you want to do new things and you do them. If you can admit that there are times that you are bored and just watch TV for a few hours then get a life first.

That being said – what can help you to cope with the flakes is having alternative plans. Plans related to pursuing your hobbies. For example I’m learning how to play an instrument. It was a life-long dream for me until once I just started to do this (funny how most things that you stick with are started by “just doing it”). Each date night means I’m not doing a practice session so when I have a really busy week (no evenings available for practice) a flake means that I gain one evening back for doing thing I love.

Don’t get me wrong. Of course I’d also like to meet the girl but flake isn’t end of the world. More girls will come while I have some extra time to do other things I like. But these have to be things that you’re really passionate about so you can get truly excited.

That works even better when you really have no time to spare. If I’m not practicing my instrument usually I’m exercising or cooking or writing or planning next trip or reading through vast backlog of books or learning new things. There are so many things I can do with my freed up time that I really can’t be angry at a flaking girl. (I will however try to set up another date with her but only once. Remember that two flakes are enough for anyone.)

Speaking of things that you can do with your free time – one thing I’m currently learning is how to sleep longer. We all know that there are few basic things that can make your life better: regular exercise, healthy low-carb diet, drinking lot of water and getting enough sleep. (The more advanced things to live a happy life are: pursue your hobbies and passions, always do what you want, get rid of things bothering you, don’t waste your time on petty things.)

Problem is that for some people like me all those things are easy except for getting enough sleep. So while I’m doing ton of things to improve my life usually I’m quite tired. The key to trick yourself into resting properly is making it a long term goal. We all love goals and I have little to none difficulty to do things that I don’t want if I know it will help me in the future. And sleeping well is always good. Even that my hobbies are waiting I can still be positive about it. The pause make me want to do them more. It is always the case with things you love – when you don’t do them for a while your desire is stronger.

So if you’re like me probably you can always welcome an opportunity to read few pages of a book and go to sleep earlier. No that it happens very often.

But I’m turning this post into a rant so I’ll end it here. Have strong alternative plans for date night and be happy when they realize. Not bothered by the flake.


Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

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