My Theory Of State

As we all know – life happens in cycles. Not that long ago I wrote about a bad streak. Recently something similar happened.My game went down for a number of reasons. The first sign was that I stopped going on dates with new girls (i.e. quality of numbers went down). Then the sheer number of number closes went down. And finally the girls started to walk past me as I was trying to stop them on the streets. Thanks to my ruthless stat keeping I could see that very clearly.

That’s one of the many benefits of keeping stats. It can help you analyze yourself and your game much more quickly than anything else. If you’re getting numbers but not dates – there is a problem with your approaches. If you’re not getting numbers – there is something wrong with you and your “vibe” (as some would say but let’s not skip ahead).

These can be signs of overdoing your daygame (take a week off or stop sarging – just approach casually while doing some errands), you being tired (get some sleep) or a much “bigger” problem – you not being in the proper “state”.

And thus we arrive at the theory I came up with recently. There are really two main components that contribute to your “state”. For the sake of argument let’s assume that there is such thing as “state” and it consists of two factors. Let’s call them vibe and momentum.

Vibe is your overall state in your life: how your job is going, noticable progress in your hobbies, doing fun things, getting enough sleep, liking yourself, your fitness, do you wake up in the morning with a happy face, etc. It essentially boils down to: are you a happy person?

You can work on your vibe little by little (e.g. by working out, sleeping well, learning new stuff) but the changes can also happen suddenly (getting sick, losing a job, getting a promotion, traveling or partying). You should be monitoring your vibe every now and then. Ask yourself “am I happy?”, “what can I do right now/today/this week to become happier?”. Sometimes it’ll be very little things that can abruptly change your vibe.

Momentum on the other hand is your social muscle at work. We all know that first approach of the day gives you power to do some more. Even if it’s bad – you’ve done it and you’re ready for more. You’ve gained momentum. You lose momentum when a girl ignores you or a set goes particularly bad (or the party you’re at sucks or you start thinking about your problems and stop talking to people). You can also gain momentum by doing any kind of social activity.

And as you might’ve already guessed – vibe gives you a starting point for your momentum. So with low vibe you still can gain enough momentum for a decent set. You can also lose so much momentum that it affects your overall vibe.

I really do believe in this theory as it helps you overcome your bad streaks. If it’s a one time thing – you know that you can push past it or call it a day and come back stronger. But if it’s consistent then you need to take some time and play a shrink. Why are you not happy? What can you do about it? It’s easy and stupid to say “I simply don’t care”. The problem is that you care but then if you care enough you’ll find a solution.

In my case I’ve been lightly injured for three weeks and it pissed me off. That was the number one contributor to my bad state. Unfortunately I couldn’t do anything about it but wait and heal. However some other things were just as bad. I had taken on many obligations which were getting out of hand. I love to have control over my life and so that situation was unacceptable. Organizing all those things into a to-do list and planning their execution freed my mind from worrying.

So yeah, while you do analyze all your sets and try to find ways to improve (you do, don’t you?) take a moment every now and then to analyse your state. Categorize your findings into vibe and momentum and try to make significant improvements.

That’s the last post in the mental masturbation series. Next time I’ll be back with some texting tips.


Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

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