The Learning Curve
I had long talks with my friend about the learning curve. Is there any in daygame and seduction? Should you from the very beginning go for the highest prize? Let’s actually put some thought in all that. At first – assume that picking up girls and seduction are nothing more than skills. If these are in fact skills that means you can train them. And with anything you can train there are good and wrong ways to do it.
(I’m not saying your value as man – looks, grooming, style, voice tone, posture, vibe, personality aren’t a factor. They are. But all in all the “art” of seducing a girl can be thought of as a skill.)
Let’s think about running a marathon. You can train to run one. Anyone can. There is a lot of work involved, it’s not easy but it’s perfectly doable. However, you cannot “train” by getting out of home three times a week trying to do your best on a 42.195 kilometers run. Not once you will finish this distance and there is great chance that you will injure yourself pretty quickly. You should start slow, run shorter distances. Then your body will slowly adapt.
And yet some guys that have seduction problems (not getting as many lays as they should) aim for the top girls around. Remember, you have your Sexual Market Value, she has hers. “Game” will help you broaden the gap between yours and hers SMV. If you’re a “7” and can only score a “6” that means you are not good at all this. Going exclusively for “9s” and “10s” is as smart as trying three times a week to run a marathon.
Yet, guys talk about this all the time. “She’s not good enough”, “I shouldn’t be wasting time on mediocre girls”. Guys! We’re not talking about “mediocre”! If you noticed her, there was something that caught your attention – that means she’s more than ok to approach. You will be happy when you sleep with her and it will count as an achievement. And it will be a stepping stone into more advanced feats.
Remember that “high value girls are sleeping with high value guys”. You have to maximize your own value and it’s not something that can be done in one simple step.
“But I want to fuck a catwalk model.” Well, I want to run a marathon. But I’m patiently working my way up.
“Seducing girls with lesser SMVs will not help me make any progress.” Only if you feel like you’re not challenging yourself. And trust me – you won’t. Do you really think that right now you could easily and consistently pull all those “6s” that you dismiss? “Consistently” being crux of the matter. If so, then approaching them maybe won’t do anything good for you. But I’m sure you are not as good as you think. So why bother with higher challenge? Fix your fundamentals first.
“I’m behaving differently around hottest girls. I can’t change that without being around them.” You’ve got far more problems than you think. Even though ‘hotter’ girls usually have higher SMV the only real factor is the difference between perceived SMVs (yours and hers). If she’s a “10”, she thinks that she’s “10” and she thinks that you’re an “8” – you have lot of work to do. Case stays the same when she’s a “7” but thinks she’s a “10”. So you can still learn a lot if the girl thinks she’s got more value than you. And of course you can learn shit about ‘behaving around hottest girls’ when you’re with a “9” that thinks she’s a “6”.
If I’d ever have a sellable product it would be something in a way of “daygame learning curve”. Far too many guys crash and burn doing things they shouldn’t be doing (yet). If you aren’t mentally strong then you will not get up from those heavy burns…
There are things that you should learn ranging from stopping, approaching, getting her number, texting, dating to seducing and sex. There are many tricks like instant dating, bouncebacking, being direct in the bedroom. All this needs to work on girls with comparable SMV before you can attempt to try them on girls with higher SMV.
Running is actually a pretty good analogy. There are two dimensions – as in daygame. One thing is being able to run the distance (sleep with the girl) and the other thing is your pace (quality of the girl). You should work on both but saying that I only go for “10s” sounds as dumb as “I know that I can’t run a marathon at all but now I’m working on my pace. I’m only interested in finishing in less than three hours. I won’t even bother running slower.”.
Start slow and choose achievable goals. Enjoy the process of learning. Pickup and seduction are learnable skills. Treat them as such and you’ll see progress.
Ps. I’m not saying that “models”/”perfect 10s” are unpickable. Yet, they usually have very high SMV and they can choose from plenty of men. Even if you’re in theory a perfect match for her it simply won’t be enough when you constantly fuck things up with girls with lesser SMV. And with her mistakes would not be forgivable.