Always Be Closing
“Self-bashing” more than “note to self” this time.
Lately I gave up few interactions after establishing that the girl is genuinely in a hurry. At least two of those girls were clearly interested which occurred to me only after quitting. They were smiling, responsive, gave detailed explanation about the reason they are in a hurry. When a girl explains that she is about to meet someone, but quickly corrects herself that these are female friends it’s usually a good sign.
What should I’ve done? Well, first – if you regret not going for the number immediately after the end of interaction then… reapproach! Run after her and with a smile say “It’s me again! I know that this was a short talk but I really would be bashing myself if I did not ask you out for a coffee sometimes.” or something similar. Remember, that you already blew this up so as usual in daygame you have nothing to lose.
People who were daygaming with me already know that I always repeat “always be closing”. No matter the interaction. Make it a habit, so that you’ll never miss an opportunity. So why didn’t I listen to myself?
In last few months I clearly saw a correlation between the length of an interaction and the possible outcome:
- she doesn’t stop – no outcome,
- she does stop, you exchange few sentences, she left – no point in taking number, she’s not interested,
- short chat, but she really has to go – almost no chance for a day 2 (yet, it may happen),
- up to five minutes – hit or miss, flake very likely,
- 5-10 minutes – solid number (some will flake), probably you should’ve gone for an instant date,
- more than 10 minutes – solid number, instant date is the best option otherwise close strong with a time bridge – name a way in which you will meet again, e.g. for a coffee this weekend (some, however, will still flake).
Always remember that there are exceptions to every rule. 60 minutes instant dates can flake. 1 minute conversation can lead to her bed the same day. These, however, are exceptions not rules. Don’t count on them but embrace when they happen. In general – the longer the interaction is the better.
Instant dates are great and really helps to solidify the number but let’s focus on short interactions. Unless you’ve done thousands of approaches (I’m not there yet) you cannot judge the reaction of a girl if she’s really in a hurry. So while these short sets will probably end in a dead number you rob yourself of any chance if you don’t close.
Not closing is quitting the game. Maybe she was just dumped? Looking for fun? Or maybe you are exactly her type? Whatever the reason – she might be into you but really without second to spare. Sometimes she will give you her number by herself. But it is your job to close and get the best out of that number.
As usual I have some stories to back up that. I’ve closed a girl in a very short conversation below two minutes and eventually ended sleeping with her. She was waiting for a friend and I was smart enough to close before he showed up (feat that I’ve managed to pull only few times). My friend approached a girl while being exhausted, they exchanged names and he said “I am so tired that I don’t know what to say next.” She offered him her number and they’ve met. Few times I’ve got a girl’s number in less than two minutes, called her and managed to set up the day 2. Lately I’ve even left my name to a girl so she could find me on Facebook after a short interaction. Don’t do that! But this time it seemed genuine and I was right – we had great day 2 and day 3 and it’s still on. I have many Facebook connections resulting from fast closes. I’m in the long game with few of them. I have tens of numbers that occasionally respond.
That’s true – most of them are flakey connections. But not all of them. And that’s the point. These are the exceptions to the rule. These are the chances that you could miss. Many things can happen to those girls which may turn their attention to you.
So – always be closing.
How to close after a short interaction? Acknowledge the facts – you’ve met only for a minute or two, you don’t know each other, you find her attractive. So in no particular order: admit that you know this is very short talk with a stranger on a street (“I know we’ve just met and been talking for a minute or so…”); give her a compliment (“…but you seem pretty cool…”) and offer her a chance to get to know each other (“…and I’d like to continue this conversation in better circumstances.” you can add “On a coffee in not so busy day”). Wait for her response. If she’s ok – go for the number. If she’s not sure or skeptical but she didn’t say “no” – Facebook close.
Once again: always be closing. If the conversation was awful let the girl know that she’s been approached with an intent (“I know that this is terrible conversation but I had to take my chance in picking you up.”) and wait for her reaction. It’s always better than to leave her wondering “what that guy wanted from me”. At least she’ll know that she’s been hit on and it can make her day.