Do Not Lie, Ever

Quick tip and a “note to self” while I polish other posts: do not lie.

There is a major difference between answering to “I bet you pick up girls all the time” during initial conversation and “Are you seeing other girls?” after you two slept together. First is a cheeky one, you can call it a shit test or a sanity check. She’s not expecting you to come clean (you don’t know each other that good!) she’s just interested in your reaction. If you do it playfully (e.g. “Yeah I do, I’m addicted. I even pick up old ladies!”) you’re fine. You can overdo it the other way (“No way, that was my first time ever. I had a heart attack but look at us having a drink!”) but do not try to explain in details your life.

When the girl is too serious I sometimes show a human face after the “funny” answer. I say that I don’t like meeting people in clubs cause they’re either shy or drunk. Or I just explain that I’m not a typical Polish guy as I tend to talk to strangers, help foreigners with the map and compliment fancy looks. Or that I’m the type of guy that believes that you regret not doing what you want more than any kind of bad thing actually happening – hence why not try? Then again sometimes you have to say that she was special in a way (so she won’t think you approach every single girl). It’s the dreaded social calibration. As we differ in types of girls we find attractive remember that general advice works in most cases but you have to work out your “correct” answers yourself. The only way to do this? Yes – by trying.

How about the other type of question? “Are you seeing other girls?”, “I saw a message from another girl on your phone” (that happened to me lately). Well, don’t be a liar. If you two are sleeping together then you owe her honesty. In my case I’ve explained to her that yes – I pick up other girls as I’m trying to help some guys. No, I wasn’t sleeping with other girls at that time (not that I didn’t try!). We discussed our relationship and she decided that she’s growing feelings for me so it would be better to stop seeing each other. And we did. It was a human moment and I’ve felt good.

That being said I remember one girl that knew that was sure I’m seeing other girls and she didn’t mind. She really wasn’t interested in anything long term and that was ok. Another girl found some blond hair in my sink (WTF?!) and she repeatedly “joked” about me sleeping elsewhere. But she never asked me directly. I can only assume that she was ok with that. There is another girl that I’m still trying to seduce but she knows that I pick up girls and she is very curious about that. Again – it’s the social calibration. For some girls it will be the end of the game, other will be turn on by that.

It doesn’t mean that you can lie to her face before you end up in bed. It means that before that you are not expected to explain in details every aspect of your life. You can playfully change topics, exaggerate, give absurd answers or just don’t tell whole truth. When she’s serious and asks serious questions – give serious answers that are true, otherwise it will look like you have something to hide! Don’t tell her everything if you want to but remember that at one point those questions will come back. And when she’s emotionally involved – never lie and never hurt her feelings. Yes, even if that means telling the truth and the end of whatever kind of a relationship you’re in. Life isn’t about hurting others.


Male-female relationships commentator. Also a traveler, adrenaline junkie and, believe it or not, introvert. Still obsessed with working out, coaching daygame and living life to the full.

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